Many of us know about Breast Cancer Awareness month. Many commercials, billboards, and advertisement is discussed throughout the year. Many of us know individuals who were effected by breast cancer. It’s a great moment for some but a devastating reminder for others. People reminisce the journey their loved one took prior to saying their final goodbye’s. It can be a bunch of mixed emotions especially for those whose wounds are not yet healed. It’s important we check on our family members and occupy the space they need at this time.
In addition to Breast Cancer Awareness, we have other awareness like Domestic Violence Awareness and Health Awareness. Some people do not like to go to the doctors, or downplay any pain they may be feeling. I know we can’t change individuals but when we have conversations and provide people with information, this may help when it comes to seeking professional help about healthcare. Encourage others to get physicals, check-ups, and the importance of having a dedicated primary care physician. There are a lot of men, (especially in the black community) that do not believe medical maintenance is important. I encourage you to ask a few men in your family if they have a primary care physician, and if they do ask when was the last time they had a physical? You would be surprise by the response and for many of our young men, they believe they are okay, therefore they don’t engage in preventative care.
Domestic Violence happens in our communities, whether you know it or not. There are shelters and programs for victims, however additional information is strongly encouraged. I went to a public place and in the bathroom stall there was information about domestic abuse. I thought that was such a brilliant idea to have this information in a common yet secret area. It’s are time to make the awareness known, have the number in your phone and available for someone if the conversation comes up. Be an advocate for someone who is experiencing domestic violence, and allow that person to know they have support. Domestic Violence hotline number is 1−800−799−7233 their website is located here.
There are things we need to remember when we have friends that are struggling with any issues.
Be There: this may sound like a no brainer but being in someone’s presence is valuable. You don’t have to lecture them, or tell them your story. Just allow them to have the space and opportunity to express how they feel IF THEY WANT TO. Don’t try to beat it out of them or over talk them if/when they decide to express themselves. This is critical because over talking someone can disturb their thinking. I had to learn how to hold my thoughts whenever someone is speaking, this is not always an easy task, however if you are aware of it, you can stop yourself from interrupting someone’s thoughts. You never know, that might be their one moment they truly express how they feel. So be mindful.
Be Kind: don’t go asking a thousand and one questions. This can be disturbing. What matters most is your motives. We all have been in a situation when we don’t want to hear harsh words right? So respect others and be considered of their feelings.
Show Action: if you say you are going to do something then do it. Simple as that, no if’s and’s or but’s about it. No one likes someone who makes broken promises. If you tell someone you are available for whatever they need be sure to stick to your word. Don’t turn that person away when/if they ask you for help, especially if you offered to do so!
No Judgement: some people may already feel shameful, they don’t know what to do and they may be at a point where they are nervous to ask for help. Sometimes people don’t want to feel like a charity case. Watch your body language and facial expressions when people open up to share what they are dealing with. We have to be mindful that people are sensitive, we ourselves alone are sensitive, so let’s consider people’s thoughts and embrace them for choosing us to open up to.
Find ways to ask someone “how can I help” and leave it at that. Don’t badger them about the situation and remember they can talk about it once they are ready to. We live in a world of instant gratification, so at times we want to know something right now. However this is not one of those moments. If someone tells you that they don’t need anything or can’t think of a way that you can help them, ask them again at a later time in life. Remind them that you are there and explain how you can help them is important to you.
Our social support says a lot about us individually, and it also says a lot about those who have good support systems. People who have others they can depend on appears to have positive outcomes. They are motivated to go to the doctors and follow up on treatment. They are willing to express themselves and know they have a people that will give them valid views and information. They are also happier than someone who do not have anyone to turn to.
Make sure you are that person’s support system. Also, make sure you have a stable support system in return. There should be at least one person you can depend on, think about that person and after you read this call them and thank them for being a good supporter in your life.
Let’s continue the conversation:
Who is a part of your support system? How do they help you and what do you do to help others you support?