I often wonder how my life would have been if I had someone to rely on for support. Truthfully, I don’t think I would have struggled as long as I did.
If someone had been available to listen to my problems as I struggled with the reality of becoming a young adult. Or listen to me struggle through my first heartbreak, and faced the challenges of God cutting people out of my life, indefinitely. I didn’t have that conversation with anyone, as a matter of fact, no one came to mind because everyone was living their life. Friends and family had so much going and talking to me was draining. People had their own issues and mines was just not a priority.
The thoughts of not being here started to become clear. People didn’t want to hear what I had to say anyway, so why bother, right?
To be quite honest, I am glad I didn’t listen to my thoughts. I am proud of myself for regaining focus and identifying my purpose in life. I knew my purpose was bigger than any failed relationship I was dealing with at the time. I choose me, to live my truth, and to press forward despite the hardship and lonely nights that came with it.
After undergrad I came up with the bright idea to move out of Pennsylvania. I wanted a new life, not realizing I was taking myself away from my support system. I didn’t think nor cared about that at the time. I just knew I wanted a fresh start and moving to a new state was what I had in mind. I was a college grad and came into the workforce during The Recession. It ended in June of 2009 but the effects were at an all-time high for a college kid with no promising career. The minimal income barely was enough to pay the bulk of my bills and I had to work overtime just to get by. Going back home to visit family was just a thought, and a pain that irritated my stomach especially around the holidays. My daily pattern consisted of me coming home from work and getting right in the bed. Dinner was an afterthought. I wanted to soak in my sorry and I didn’t care what that meant to my body.
Thoughts will get the best of you
Our thoughts can lead us down a dark path to destruction, however I was in the right place at the right time. The were some benefits to working at a psychiatric hospital and staying busy was not one of them. I learned so much about myself and obtain useful information, one which some of us know as coping sklls. And yes I was a psychology major and had experience working with people in the mental health field, however when it’s you, those thoughts that circulate in your head feels different. I had to find my reason for living, I had to get back into my purpose and that did not happen overnight. There was a part of me that wanted to stay sad, feel hopeless, and depressed and it took a while for those emotions to diminish. It took patience and perseverance to want to do better. The road appears to be inaccessible when you feel hopeless but I was able to pull myself together by the grace of God on my side.
Consistency is key but first we have to get there
I didn’t understand the importance of active listening until I was forced to do so. At worked we had to take notes and conduct staff talks. We talked with the patients about their day and be the soundboard they needed at that moment. Some staff talks were brief but most time consuming, but in a good way. I knew patients wanted to talk and get whatever they were stressing about off of their minds. Some of them were looking for advice while others wanted the support. Our main focus was to listen to what they were saying and report our conversation, the goal was for the psychiatrist to read the notes and see if the conversations coincide with their behaviors. As I listened to people talk about their struggles, losing their job, house, spouse, children, and whatever else life threw at them I became attentive, and the desire to want to help others grew intensively.
We need it more than you think.
Discussions about mental health awareness is spreading across the country. People are open to talking about mental health and wanting to understand the dynamics and what it entails. More individuals are coming forward and connecting with others who are vocal about their illness. Taking a mental health day from work and learning the importance of self-care is highly encouraged and people are becoming comfortable stating when they need one. There are social media post, podcast, and blogs, about depression, anxiety, bipolar, and a list of countless mental health disorders at the disposal of everyone’s fingertips. It’s a priority that needs to be addressed and to be honest I am intrigued to see what lies ahead for the mental health community.
The value of SUPPORT.
After finding hope in my own life, building confidence, and creating structure only prompt me to want to help others. I figured if people in the hospital felt like this, imagine how many people are living without hope that don’t get through those hospital doors. It takes a lot for someone to seek help, to admit that they are broken and need that boost of assurance to reenter into their life. It takes GUTS to surrender and not a lot of people are willing to do that WHEN they have believe their status will be judged.
Support can change a life, as a matter of fact it WILL change a life. There are 24 hours in a day and after you spend an hour with your therapist, psychiatrist, or any mental health professional you still have the rest of the day to tackle. Who can you count on to help you during your darkest hour, to check up on you, or make sure your thoughts are not triggered?
Support doesn’t have to come with advice and it doesn’t have to know all the answers. Support is when someone is simply there not passing judgement and letting you know they will go through life with you, every step of the way.
Community Conversation
What support do you need? Are you are support to someone? Do you know what it takes to provide help to someone who struggles mentally?