When The Holidays Are Not Your Cup Of Tea...Do This

Here is the gut wrenching reality. Everyone does not care for the holiday season, and that is okay. Typically when you think of celebrating the holidays you think about the dinner spread, laughter, joy and memories that will last a lifetime. You think about who you will see, how college is going for some folks, new relationships and babies that are crying or being carried around from one family member to the next. You think of the lights, the coziness in the house and the love that is immersed in the room. It’s a pretty good feeling, however, not everyone has this experience. Some people are reminded of family drama, unforgiving arguments, unwanted memories, and grief from something or someone they lost in the past. Which is often remised every holiday season.

More times than not people are be forced to be around someone who has hurt them in the past, or feel they are people pleasing because “family” wants them to come, despite how they may feel, (especially if they are young and don’t have a choice in saying where they are going for the holidays). There are also people who are reminded that they do not have the necessary things in order to have a good holiday season. In some instances this is a constant reminder of their short comings. Each year people are experiencing the holiday season for the first time without someone they loved, whether that person transitioned from Earth, or is no longer in communication with them. These feelings are hard to express, especially when society and media displays joyful music, happiness, and family traditions.

So what do you do if this sounds like you? I personally will say, feel those feelings. Too often people suppress their emotions. The response of, “don’t worry about that” or “it’s going to be alright,” is not something people want to hear. And we have to get out of the habit of saying those things. It’s not as if the person doesn’t think it won’t get better, they know that it will. But the feelings are on display and it’s imperative to acknowledge those feelings. And you can do this in one of many ways, express by crying, writing down your thoughts, talking to someone or taking a moment to sit in it. And when that moment is over (I am stressing moment as a few minutes or so). If you know the holidays are not your thing I would also encourage you to seek a therapist if you are not already doing so. Preparing and discussing what’s to come can help and oftentimes we are more concern leading up to the day, than the actual day in itself.

Few activities to follow…

1. Change the trajectory: you do not have to do what you did in the past. Make new memories with those you are close with, keep in mind this does not have to only be family you can reach out to friends too.

2. Set boundaries: if a family member wants you to do something whether it’s joining a family event, politely refuse. They should understand, if you feel they deserve an explanation, give it to them. But telling them you want to protect your peace and is good enough.

3. Volunteer: this can help bring cheer into your life. I encourage you to try it!

4. Do something untraditional: see a movie that is not focused on the holidays, take yourself on a mini vacation, whether local or travel somewhere warm where you are not reminded of the holidays. Those last minute trips are helpful and can make the best memories.

5. Do a virtual call: chat with someone online whether it’s someone you haven’t talk to in a while and talk about things that make you laugh!

6. Listen to your favorite artist: not everyone has a holiday album so you should be okay in listening to music that can put you in another place.

These activities are just a few things that come to mind. Most importantly understand that you are not alone. And we have resources to help you with that. Be sure to let us know which one you engaged in, whether it was a few or all of them!

How can you use AI to reduce revision stress - but without breaking any educational rules?

Preparing for a big exam will always involve hard work, but it doesn’t have to feel so stressful that it becomes overwhelming. Often, how effective and enjoyable your revision sessions are will depend on the techniques you choose to use. While it’d be great to have artificial intelligence (AI) do all the learning for you, claiming the work of others as your own will be classed as unethical use of the technology – however, you can use it to create a great study plan that’ll help you to achieve top marks in your exams. In this guide, we share a few of the ways you can use AI to make revision a stress-free experience, whilst also ensuring you don’t break any educational rules.

Effective study schedules

When you’ve got lots on your to-do list, it can be hard to know where to begin. Ineffective time management can really hold you back from completing the bulk of your work – while knowing exactly what you need to do and when you need to do it can help to significantly simplify the learning process by breaking each task down into more manageable chunks. Many students use AI to create personalized schedules that analyze their academic performance and personal preferences to recommend the best times for focusing on specific subjects. AI can also be used to set up automatic study reminders and alerts, to ensure study sessions and important deadlines aren’t missed.

Helpful learning materials

We all learn in different ways, and the study techniques that work for your peers may not always be the best approach for you. By allowing AI access to your study materials like your textbooks and notes, and teaching it your individual learning style, you can have the technology present the content in a format that is easier for you to understand and digest. This could mean asking AI to present written content as a visual resource, such as in a mind map or flashcards, or the opposite – having visual aids summarized in writing. You could also ask AI to convert your written study materials into an audio recording, if you learn best through listening. This will help your revision materials feel more accessible, and will help you retain more information.

Virtual tutoring and instant feedback

Practice tests can be an effective study tool, particularly if you have a peer present who can ask you questions and give feedback on the answers to you. AI makes this process much easier; by acting as a tutor, it can create questions based on your learning materials and then provide you with instant answers and grades – so you can use this method even when you’re studying alone.

Putting theory into practice

Not every exam will be a written one, and some qualifications will require you to demonstrate your practical skills in the subject in order to be awarded a good grade. Unfortunately, many students don’t have access to the equipment and technology they need to practice these skills outside of the classroom, which can put them at a disadvantage. Even those taking written exams can benefit from having more practical, hands-on experience, as putting theory into practice is a great way to solidify your knowledge and help you retain more information.

With AI, you can use virtual reality platforms to simulate any situation in which you’ll need to apply your practical skills. While it may not be the real thing, having access to such a simulation – like a lab, for example – can help you to familiarize yourself with the environment prior to taking your practical exam.

Educational rules to consider

Generally, academic institutions require you to use AI in a way that assists your learning, but doesn’t do the work for you – by relying too heavily on the technology, you’re at risk of plagiarizing the work of others. This can lead to serious consequences, such as having your work disqualified or being expelled from your college, as well as various legal implications and fines for your institution.

To ensure you’re not breaking any educational rules, consider creating an Ethical AI Checklist that includes what needs to be done before you begin an assignment, while you’re working on it, and after you’ve submitted it. For example, it might involve checking that AI use is permitted by your college, ensuring your assignment is written in your own words, and citing AI usage correctly once your work is complete. By having each of these steps written down so that you can tick them off as you go, you can revise with the assurance that you’re using the technology in a way that is helpful, not harmful.

Author Emily Turner

Emily is a student adviser with a passion for technology. She keeps up with the latest AI advancements to coach her students on how best to implement them into their studies. For more content from Emily visit studocu.com.

Having Trouble Speaking Up...Read This!

During my adolescent and young adult years, I found myself not being as vocal as I am now. This had a lot to do with my upbringing. Anytime someone in my community was not satisfied, it mostly ended in an argument or worse, a fight. I felt like if stating my issue or presenting my feelings to someone resulting in a scuffle, it wasn’t worth mentioning. I wasn’t a fighter but I have seen many fights in my day that escalated because of lack of communication.

Fast forward to adulthood I’ve learned that you can bring your concerns to individuals, but it all depends on how you present it. Most importantly you don’t want to be so high off emotions that the issues doesn’t get resolved. I also know I am not the only person who had challenges in this area, and so I thought it would make sense to brush up on my blogging experience and write about it.

I must say it took me some time to learn how to present my issues, and not because I was afraid or anything, but because I wanted them to get resolved and not linger. Now do I always get it right…no. But I do at least try. A lot of relationships end because of miscommunication, a lot of information is misinformed because of miscommunication. And this goes for EVERYONE, no matter your economic, race, or ethnicity. All in all, we have to learn how to communicate and speak up effectively.

4 ways to speak up effectively

1. Practice Assertiveness: listen, everything comes with practice. Even speaking up! One way I started being assertive is when I receive customer service. If there was something that I didn’t like, for instance if my food order was wrong, or they forgot to provide my beverage, I would let them know. I also provide compliments for anyone I see who is wearing something nice. Just speaking up in general gives you the motivation to want to speak up consistently.

2. Be Direct: how often are we not direct. We can fumble with our words a lot and beat around the bush. Making the person on the receiving end more confused or annoyed that you brought the conversation to their attention. That’s why it is important to practice. Write down what you want to say, and practice how you want to say it. There’s nothing wrong in doing that, if anything it can boost how you present yourself to others.

3. Seek Support: I am all about providing support. Talk to your friends and ask them how you can be more assertive. They know your personality best. They more than likely can provide you with feedback and let you know a thing or two about yourself.

4. Listen: this is a part of resolving conflict. It’s imperative to listen to the other person. They have a voice and it’s critical that it’s heard. And most importantly do not listen to respond, but listen to understand. This goes a long way!

These four tips helps me even today. I have more tips you can listen to on my podcast Going Thru W/Jamie. Speaking up is not something we are born with, it’s an action we all learned. As a child there were times when I wanted to speak up, or have spoken up and was shut down. I believe this is what inhibit me from speaking up for myself during my adolescent and early adult years. So if you have little ones, there’s a way you can teach them to be heard and vocalize how they feel. We don’t want to do a disservice to ourselves and our children. So check out the podcast and be sure to check out our magazine for more tips on better ourselves!

Let me know how you speak up when some things are not going your way. I look forward to reading them in the comments!

You Need To Take A Social Media Break...Here's Why

Here's the thing, social media is here to stay. No matter what you think or say, internet platforms are not going anywhere. At least not anytime soon. We have so many founders to thank of that. Although there are benefits to social media, as I am using this platform to share my thoughts. I am certain you find good use of it as well. But is there a thing of too much use of social media? And how does that not only impact OUR mental health, but our children, and the generation that comes after us?

If you are a millennial then you know we were the last group to enjoy those long those summer days outside, only to have our parents fuss at us when we came back in the house. The constant complaint, "you smell like outside, go get in the shower," was something I became accustom to hearing. We partaken in double dutch or watching basketball games from neighborhood teams for bragging rights. Everything now is organized sports and you have to pay at some capacity to participate. We seen the shift from paper to computer real quick, and technology appears to evolve right in front of our eyes. I think many of us have a love hate relationship with technology, but no matter how you slice or dice it, you will eventually be on a platform sharing your thoughts, looking for long lost relatives, or joining some kind of group to help you with some kind of challenge you are facing.

Despite it all, I see the good in social media, but it has its flaws. Just like anything else. The scrolling from one platform to another can cause you to waste so much time doing nothing (Unless you are doing research and to a degree that can be suspect). The unmet expectation can lead one feeling distraught, discouraged, and disinterested in something they think is their passion.

As a mom I sometimes find myself (or I did prior to this) scrolling after midnight when the kids were asleep. I found it as my "me time," but to only notice how I was comparing myself to someone's glam life. Someone's 60 seconds of highlights they posted on social media had me in my feelings to the point I started to give myself the side eye. I was wondering...what am I doing with my life?

Not to mention being a founder of a mental health magazine, producing issues quarterly and helping people display their work on a platform. Those 60 seconds made me feel like I was not doing enough, and that's the issue with social media. At least one of them.

Another thing I found myself doing was the fear of missing out. Don't let a video go viral. It lead me to doing research to find the original content and check out the person who went viral. Check out a few of their videos and become hooked. Causing me to take the eye off of my own path and focus on someone else.

Lastly I was tired a lot. And when I say tired, I mean tiirrreeeedddd! Knowing I have to get up in the morning to go to the gym, just to find myself mid day not being able to function or concentrate due to being so into whatever Tic-Tok video Instagram Reel that I engrossed myself in the night before. Now I know I am not the only one who HAD these challenges. And if you are dealing with them today, I want you to realize that you too can detox from social media.

Detox Anyone?

1. Take social media breaks!

2. Limit your time on social media, allow only a certain amount of time at a time.

3. Do something productive. Allow your attention to go towards that thing you have been putting off.

4. Practice mindfulness, live in the moment. Go outside and get some fresh air...it's free! Even if that means to sit outside for a second, go on a 10 minute walk or a drive.

These steps has helped me and I am certain it will help you. Let me know about your social media journey. Have you done a detox? How long do you find yourself online even when you don't want to be?

I'm curious to know...let's chat below!

3 Ways To Find Good Support

Think about a house the next time you ponder on what support looks like. A house has a foundation, walls, and floors. Those are some of the main things needed for the house to stand. If one thing is missing the house is going to fall. It’s vital to have good support because it helps one go further in life. But some people have a hard time understanding what support looks like, or who in their life provides quality support.

Here’s How To Find Support

1. History: think of the person who has been in your life during key moments. Transitioning moments or any life-changing events. Take a moment to see how they have made you feel during those moments. If it’s good then that’s a person you want to jot down on your support list.

2. Reliability: who do you call when you get good news? Someone you want to share your wins with is someone who may have been around to support you in your life. That person you have in your mind right now, is the person you can consider a part of your support.

3. Vulnerability: this can go both ways. You share your deepest and most intimate moments with someone you trust and can be vulnerable with. And in return, that person has been vulnerable with you.

There may be different friends for different kinds of events that are going on in your life. But I want you to take a moment and write down who fits the three criteria listed above. After you write those names down I want you to think of ways of how they can best support you, if they don’t know how to already. It’s important to get in the habit of telling friends, loved, ones, and supporters how they can best support you, and what signs to look for when you are not feeling your best.

Oftentimes we want to support people the way WE know how or how WE want to be treated. But the way we want to be treated is not the same case for everyone else. I encourage you to call your friends up, those who you know that can best support you, and have a conversation. Discuss how you appreciate them and inform them on how they can best support you when you, this can be in general, when you are not feeling your best, or when you are at your highest high.

These conversations can appear to be overlooked but it’s the best way to sustain support for yourself and vice versa. We can’t assume we know how to support someone, as their needs change over time. By doing this you will find strength in your friendships and gratitude to hear their thoughts in return.

To receive additional support, be sure to check out one of our magazine issues. We have digital and physical copies available. Along with our subscription service.

The more support you receive the better your chances of you being the best version of yourself. So value the time you spend with your loved ones, supporters, and yourself.

Let me know what support looks like for you. Be sure to comment below, I would love to start a conversation!

What's SAD All About?

As you know time rolled back over the weekend, which means it is going to get darker…quicker. I noticed around this time of the year moods can change. The holiday season is now in affect. And we reminisce on memories that may lead us to shedding a few tears. And I am writing to tell you that it’s okay. It’s nice to think of our loved ones and be able to cherish the memories we had with them.

It is also okay to not be in the same mood you were a few weeks back. The year is coming to and end, there are goals you may have obtained, or not. Following a boat load of other things that comes with life. Understand this YOU ARE HUMAN! You have emotions and you are not a robot, so please do not compete with big box companies or even AI at this point.

However those things are typical, but there are things that can be out of the ordinary and even scary for some people who experience a sense of sadness all the time. You know when you are not yourself, and your friends know it too. Listen to your gut and your friends if what they are saying is true. Do not be in denial. The one way you can help yourself is by being true to yourself and seeking the help that you need to pull you out of this space.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Let’s start with a definition: “SAD symptoms start in the late fall or early winter and go away during the spring and summer; this is known as winter-pattern SAD or winter depression.” - National Institute of Mental Health

Experiencing Change In Appetite. There’s one thing to go on a diet or some kind of weight loss journey, but there’s another concern when you or someone is not eating or minimizing eating on a consistent level. When I say minimizing I am meaning eating lower than the daily calorie intake. Your thoughts are always on something that is distracting you or causing you to not do the daily things one would typically do.

Social Withdrawal. I understand people take social media breaks, I actually encourage that and think that’s a good way to set up boundaries. But to withdrawal from friends and people who can pour positivity into you, that’s a red flag. Even when you social withdrawal there’s at least one or two persons you stay connected to, whether it’s in a form of text or phone call, there is some kind of communication. If you or someone you know finds themselves disconnecting from life longer than usual, they could be experiencing SAD.

Oversleeping. Now we all like to get our rest, and some days we do not want to get out of bed. Especially during those cold mornings. But at some point you are going to get out of the bed, start your day and something. If you find yourself in the bed with low mood and have no desire to do ANYTHING consistently…then SAD may be creeping at your door.

Difficulty Concentrating. Times like this it’s challenging to stay focus. I feel like we live in a world where we are moving faster than ever. I mean wasn’t it like January yesterday? I don’t know maybe it’s just me. However, if you are having challenges with staying focus and being consistent on minor task, like taking out the trash, washing up, doing dishes, etc. it’s time to have a talk and see where the lack of concentration is stemming from. The insight can be helpful for sure!

Thoughts of Suicide. No one should take this subject lightly. I think we are still in a world where people are afraid to talk about suicide. All because they think someone is going to go along with the plan. However, a thought can lead to an action, and it can be scary having those thoughts in your mind, alone. So if you are thinking about this be sure to reach out for support. Reach out to a close friend and be honest about your thoughts. If you are the friend who has concerns, reach out to that friend and be there, you may not know what to do, however your presence speaks volumes. Check on that friend, go to their house and help them, if their house is a mess, clean up for them. If their children needs to be picked up from school, coordinate that. Help out with the task that needs to be taken care of. Some people can be overwhelmed and do not know how to ask for help. While doing daily tasks for them, find support by contacting a therapist and seeing when their next available appointment is and connect your friend to that provider. Or if it is an emergency call 911 or 988. But be sure to find support and connect!

We all want to live a meaningful life. However life is tough. It does not always go as planned and we do not know how to handle it when life brings us alternatives were were not ready for.

Here’s What I Want You To Do!

Take a moment and write down your feelings for the next week. Pick a time each day and commit that time to write how you feel. Be honest with yourself and also write down why you feel this way. After a week goes by, read your journal entries and see where the pattern lies. It’s quite revealing and when we write our thoughts down, it allows us to process. For some it is a reflection in which can be rewarding in some ways.

If you are having issues receiving support in anyway check out one of our digital magazines or order a subscription and read up on all the support we provide.

Let me know how the activity goes for you in the comments. This can help someone who reads this blog. Let’s end the stigma one issue at a time by talking about it and finding ways to change!

Do Not Live Up To Other's Expectation: Here's Why

Short Answer: because it’s draining living up to other’s expectations.

Here’s the blog…

We can spend a lot of time wondering what others think of us. For some people, their move is determined by the reaction of others. Do you know when we live to appease others we lose a part of ourself? Who and why would you want to live with this stipulation? Life provides so much and when we have the opportunity to be anything we ought to be ourselves.

I want you to be intentional living for you. And I understand it is easy to read something and obtain information but in addition to receiving information, I want to provide action steps for you to engage in RIGHT NOW! If you are living in the mindset of appeasing others, I want you to reevaluate your thoughts and ask yourself, are you really happy thinking this way?

Sometimes our thoughts are unintentional especially when we are scrolling on social media, viewing people on vacation or out living their best life. But remember this…you can do the same thing. And just because someone is living their best life does not mean they are happy.

Get Yourself On The Right Track By Doing This…

Write down YOUR GOALS! I do mean your personal goals. Not what someone else wants you to do, or what other people say you SHOULD DO. Do short term and long term. Start off with the long term goals and work your want to the short term goals. Knowing what you want to do five or ten years from now, will allow you to think of the steps you need to partake in, in order to reach the long term goals.

What makes you happy? Be serious when you answer this question. If you had 72 hours to do whatever you want and did not have to worry about no one but yourself during that time, what would you?

Make time for yourself? How do you do this? The first thing I want you to do for the next couple of days is to write down everything you do from hour to hour. This will allow you to see what exactly you are doing, and if there’s any idle time where you can make time for yourself. It may not be an easy task, but it’s a start in the right direction.

You may have follow up statements like I have no time for myself. In order to make time for yourself you may have to change a few things. If you have children be intentional about making their bedtime early enough for you to be able to spend about 10 minutes alone. It may be challenging enforcing bedtime rules, however it benefits the entire house as a whole.

Delegate task. When you are the person doing all the things, it can be challenging deciphering who should do what. However, when someone helps out and lighten the load it allows you to have more time for you. And if you do not have anyone you can depend on, it’s time to find a circle of friends and people that can support you and vice versa. You do not have to do life alone.

For ways to find a support system dive into one of our magazine issues. We have digital and physical copies available. Also we have self-care tool kits that can help you as you go through your wellness journey.

Let me know how these action steps are helping you live your best life. And remember what people view of you is their problem!

4 Ways To Better Yourself: Change Starts With You!

Change starts with the individual. It’s common for people to say they are going to change the way they eat, exercise more, write the book, etc. It always sounds good but don’t let it stop at talking. Make sure you follow that talk with some action.

We are heading into a new season. Fall has a way of showing us how change can be different yet beautiful at the same time. Depending on where you live, your wardrobe may alter, those sandals at the front door turns into boots and the unconsciousness of grabbing our jackets become common as we make our way out of the door. And just like the season, we change as people, change happens to everyone. Despite what it looks like for you, understand that not everyone will like it, but at some point you have to realize that is their problem and not yours.

So now that we know change is going to happen some may ask how do one change for the better? I say it all starts with thinking, then writing, and lastly making a plan of action. People have over 5,000 thoughts a day and one of those thoughts are typically about your future. How you view things and what you want to change or keep consistent in your life. To make change for the better, write down these things:

1. What makes you want to change (what is your inner voice telling you)

2. The things that make you want to get up in the morning (what are you passionate about)

3. A skill you want to learn, invest how you can obtain that skill (join a class)

4. Dumping (think about bad habits or people you need to disconnect from)

After you write these things down, read it and write down a plan of action. Give yourself a timeline especially if you have more than one interest, skill you want to learn, bad habits to disconnect from, or what you are passionate about. Also be sure to take a minute to hone in on what makes you want to change. It could be a health scare, your children or your environment.

Making change starts with you and sometimes it has a lot to do with who you have in your life. I cannot stress enough on how we should always take a mental note on who we surround ourselves around. To give you additional insight, if someone is causing you to be anxious when you get off the phone, that’s not a good sign. Someone you are around should motivate you and you should be able to be vulnerable with them without being criticized.

Change is ongoing. If you need assistance on learning more about changing and how to change, it’s imperative to connect with one of our magazine issues. Our digital magazine is always a win for those who are on the go. Also check out our support boxes to help you as you navigate this new journey in your life. Change is going to happen, be sure that it’s for the better!

What are your thoughts about change?

Let us know in the comments we would love to have a discussion about it.