Reflect & Reset Can Advance Your Self-Care

I had something totally different to blog about this month but the last two days have been quite interesting. I was driving from the post office and drove past my old apartment. Typically I would ride past and not think anything of it, but I wanted to show my oldest son Micah where I used to live. He looked around the neighborhood and was intrigued by the community pool that has not yet opened, and of course the play ground. After glancing around for a few seconds seeing this area for the firs time, he remained quiet and continued to observe. But for me…it brought back memories.

The actual unit I lived in was vacant. I noticed a maintenance man working on the balcony inside of what was the utility closet. From what I can see it appeared dark inside and I assumed someone must have moved out. I wondered if it was the family who moved in after I did, back in 2013?

Exiting the complex brought a smile to my face. Those few short minutes was monumental for me. I realized I have grown so much since living completely on my own since college. I gave myself a pat on the back. Now if you would’ve told me back then life was going to be okay, I would’ve laughed. I experienced some losses in that apartment but left out gaining a lot of wins. At that time I was single, living in a new state and afraid I would live in that apartment forever. A decade and some change later I have a husband and two boys to share life with. That moment of reflecting I realized was more for myself, versus showing Micah my old neighborhood.

“It’s okay to reflect”

I had to remind myself that reflecting is not always a bad thing. Sure there are moments we don’t want to relive but look where you are now, admire who you have become. It’s pivotal moments that makes us who we are. So on my journey of reflecting I want to share this with you:

1. Visit your old stomping grounds: go past your old high school or any place that helped you become who you are. If you are not in that town, look at some photos from back in the day. I am sure you have some stored somewhere. Or go by your old university, if none of these apply listen to music during that time in your life. Those memories will come back into play. Music always had a way of bringing the past to the forefront, causing laughter and maybe a few tears.

2. Sit in your feelings and journal about it: allow your mind to go wherever, be attentive to what you are thinking about, how are you feeling, are you tensed, do you chuckle? Whatever you are feeling just sit in it, don’t try to rationalize just let your thoughts be. We need that from time to time, (as long as you are not trying to hurt yourself or anyone else). Then write about it, jot down how you are feeling. Sometimes we need that in our lives, it helps us in the future, especially if the thoughts are challenges we’ve overcome. Sometimes those thoughts can bring back memories of worry, doubt, distress, but afterwards, admire where you are today.

3. Motivate yourself and know you have more to do: reflecting helps us see how far we have come. It also motivates us to do more. Remember that time when you didn’t think you would get over the first love, or that first closed door to a career opportunity? Look at you now. Continue to reflect, especially during those quiet moments. By the end of reflecting, write down the next three goals you have for yourself.

How do you reflect? I would love to know. I don’t get many moments to sit in quiet, but when I do I often like to read and practice mindfulness. If you are having any challenges with resources or learning how to navigate your feelings our magazine is a great resource to help you. Check out one of our digital copies today and get started. A digital download may be the first step to getting you closer to better self-care.

I am looking forward to your response.

~Jamie

It's Time To Put You First: Here's How

When was the last time you put yourself first? Honestly, put yourself first without feeling selfish? It’s common to put other things before us, causing us to be last on our list. It happens far too often but I am glad to hear more about self-care at work, home, and even in church. It’s about time we stop chasing the clock or even chasing the “bag” without putting ourselves on the schedule.

Self-care is critical and now more than ever, we hear or even read about what self-care is and how it benefits our life. But it leaves some of us pondering on HOW to do these things, while we understand the benefits and may even tackled into some self-care every now and then, it’s easy to get stuck on the how, resulting in hesitancy or discontinuing our self-care practices.

How can one take off or take a break when they have multiple responsibilities? When work, parenting, and other obligations cannot be put to the side? Whenever we ask these questions it’s hard to figure out the how resulting in an unmet need we set within ourselves. This leads to frustration and can cause one to be overwhelmed. Our bodies need to rest and we MUST listen. If we don’t listen to our bodies at some point our bodies are going to make us listen!

Recently I discussed, Signs You Need To Take A Mental Health Day, it goes into detail of what to look for and when to check in on yourself and put a pause on things that are frustrating you. But how do you take a mental health day? That’s the question I want to answer for you here.

How To Take Your Mental Health Day With Ease

1. Plan: look at your calendar for the next month. Take a good overview of what you have going on. Where you see some gaps, think about what day would be best to fit YOU on the schedule. Add Personal Time to the calendar and put the request in. Take it a step future and look at the following month, continue to do this for the rest of the year. When you schedule yourself on a calendar you can plan around your personal days, versus you planning a personal day around your busy jammed pack schedule. Thank me later!

2. Reach out: this is the time to put pride aside. Asking for help does not make you less of a person. When you reach out, people will find ways to help you, if not then you are not in the right circle of friends, (my personal opinion). If you have children who have places to be, think about carpooling. Talk to a parent, significant other, or a family member about helping with pick ups and drop offs. Hire a sitter, think about a neighbor or a good friend you have that can babysit to lessen the burden of your daily routines.

3. Do it: planning is one thing, but implementing it into your schedule is another. Don’t be the person who plans and don’t act. Make it a priority to put in personal time. Take the moment this week to see how you spend idle time. Are you running around all day or spending time scrolling on Tik-Tok or Instagram? Are their pockets in your days for personal time? Observe every aspect of your life and what you have going on. You will be surprised to see what you do with frivolous time.

We all need a break! At times we get so caught up with work, we forget to take a day off. Plan something fun or don’t plan anything at all. Reset in a positive way is important and something we need to take into consideration. I personally think mental health days should happen every six weeks at the least. If you are having trouble check out our magazine and read articles on what we have to offer, regarding mindfulness, self-care and more! We even offer subscription services to make purchasing less of a worry for you. When you put yourself first, it allows others to receive the best part of you. And most importantly it makes us feels good.

Let me know what are some of the things you like to do during your personal time? Share below, what you may do can inspire someone else to do the same!

No Valentine...No Problem? Self-Love At It's Best

This time of the year comes with mixed emotions. Some people enjoy this day as they are immersed with love, receiving gifts, candy and chocolate. It can be a dream for someone but let’s face it, this is not everyone’s reality. Love is amazing…don’t get me wrong but not everyone receives this amount of love, on the day we know as Valentine’s Day. So do not allow social media or any media outlet make you feel bad for spending this time solo.

I must admit it’s nice to be thought of…I would be lying to you if I said it wasn’t. But we must remember that no mater who we are with, single, married or in a complicated relationship, it’s imperative we care for ourselves and provide self-love.

The subtitle for the magazine this month is Normalize Self-Love and I intentionally titled this because people attend to put themselves last. You make sure everyone else is okay, checked off all the boxes in making sure everyone else feels good…but what about you? It’s not until something happens or you are depleted before you think about the last time you put yourself first. And let’s face it, making yourself a priority is different for everyone.

We attend to think we have to lavish ourselves, (I mean if that’s what you need then lavish on!) but it does not have to take all of that. A nice pedicure and manicure is good and it feels great to receive some type of service, but what are you doing on the inside? What are you doing mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, to get yourself together? When was the last time you collected your thoughts, explored your dreams, crossed off things from YOUR goal list and not your routine TO DO list, (we are only in February, its time to check in on those resolutions) or quality some time to yourself to just be? A time where you are not doing pick ups, drop offs, grocery runs or sitting in the waiting room, while your child attend extra curricular activities after school. Let’s face it you deserve to show yourself self-love, everyday and most importantly on Valentine’s Day.

3 Ways To Show Yourself Some Self-Love

Believe it or not, some people do not know how to be alone. They bounce from one relationship to the next, avoiding themselves. It’s time for you to get to know yourself, we are evolving human beings and we have to check in every once in a while. What time is better than the present? You can learn a thing or two about yourself and by doing this, it will allow you to figure out what you will or will not tolerate in future relationships, (this includes friendships and family relationships).

1. Write down your feelings: awareness is important. When we are aware of our emotions we can do something about it. This is something you do not want to hide, journal how you are feeling to get a baseline of where you are emotionally.

2. Get Active: write down activities you like to do to boost your mood. This can go a long way, a walk outside or a exercise video has a way of boosting your mood and making you feel good about yourself.

3. Pamper yourself: Buy yourself some flowers, who says you have to wait for someone else to do it? If candy is something you like, add that to the shopping list. Light a candle and here’s a tip on candle smells: lavender helps with mood, pine scents help with stress, citrus smells helps with energy, and peppermint helps with concentration.

Remember this: no one can make you happy. If we depend on other people to make us happy, we are in for a rude awakening. Be intentional with adding yourself to your calendar. It can start with once a week and increase to an hour a day. It may sound impossible at first, but think of things that you are doing that are considered time wasters, scale back on those things and introduce these three activities to get your personal time started. If you need any assistance at all, be sure to check out our magazine here for tips. Let me know how this goes for you in the comments and I look forward to the well needed discussion. And remember no Valentine…no problem! Show yourself some self-love.

5 Reasons You Are Stressing & What To Do About It

This country is unpredictable, as a matter of fact the world is. The gun violence continues to increase making it challenging to want to attend events, or send our children to school. Police brutality continues to happen, and every time you go on social media you see others living their best life, making it hard not to compare the moment they decided to put on social media, to the reality you are living at that moment.

So many things causes stress and the environment has a lot to do with it.

Stress comes in so many forms but one thing I try to remember is this…stress is here to STAY. When you are over one situation, here is another one ready to throw punches. It’s no wonder people are overwhelmed, tired, and appear to have more unproductive days than they intended.

If this resonates with you I want you to know that you are not ALONE!

The Rundown On Why You Are Stressing

1. Demands are increasing: you want to do all the things at once, lose the weight, make more money, start a business, travel, and raise children that everyone will admire and adore.

2. Watching and reading the news more: you do not want to miss out on what’s going on, therefore you dive into reading or listening to what others are saying about whatever is going on in the world. Bad news spread and get a lot of views online, making it visible on our social media feed and depending on the content it can trigger us providing more stress.

3. No Clarity: some individuals are just existing. You are doing the day to day stuff and that’s it. When you do the same thing over and over again expecting different results…that leads to stress because our expectations are not met.

4. Feed into the pressure of social media: everyone is selling everything online. If you look for a product, the next thing you know, you will see that product on your feed. You start to see other information regarding that product or other companies selling it. Top things many people see on their social media feed are exercise programs, personal growth (lack of something), and food consumption. If the issue is relatable to you it becomes easy to put yourself down and/or purchase the product thinking it will be an instant life change.

5. Limited support: this is critical, support goes a long way. Anyone who is successful at anything has a support system or someone they can talk to and help with strategizing.

   What You Should Do

All things consider please note change starts with YOU. Not from your parents, children, or even your best friend. They all can encourage you however, if you want to change its vital to reflect in order to produce the change you need to feel better about yourself.

1. Demands are going to be there: but it is up to you to prioritize what matters most. Each night before you go to bed, make a checklist of what you want to do the next day. Be sure to prioritize them after you write it down. The next day check off the things you complete, and whatever you do not get done, save it for the next day.

2. Take note of what you are paying attention to: how are you spending your time? Ask yourself: is this encouraging me or depleting me. How do you feel after engaging in this activity? If it is not helping you grow, write down how much time you spend doing this, and write down what you would like to invest your time in instead.

3. Get clarity: doing the exercise stated previously will help you gain clarity of what you are doing day to day. What short term goals are important to you. Once you write your short term, think of some long term goals. Also write down what do you want to get out of life, include what’s important to you, faith, family, business, etc.

4. Get on a routine: limit the time you are on social media and other news outlets. Be strict about it. If this is challenging start in increments, cut yourself off for 20 mins and then increase the time to your liking.

5. Find your interest: once you figure out what you like search groups where you can be a part of. Start with your church or programs in your community, find activities and explore. A great place to start is Eventbrite, look for local affairs in the area on Facebook or ask neighbors what’s about upcoming events on the Neighborhood App.

Routines are important, we know to get up to go to work everyday, or get up and take the children to school. This is important, we speak so heavily on routine with our children and even our spouse, but we have to be on board and do the same thing. Do some self-reflection and start a detox from all the things that are not serving you and making you a better person. When we start living for ourselves, it can help us manage stress.

If you are having challenges working through life stressors seek a therapist, sometimes past experience can hinder us from moving forward. Therapy can help unpack trauma by identifying unresolved issues which will help us move forward in life. If you are hesitant about receiving services, check out our magazine. We provide resources and conversation starters in addition to support from others who have experienced similar challenges. You can start here for digital or visit here for our soft cover copies.

After doing this activity let me know what worked. What did you find out about yourself? I would love to know!

5 Effective Ways To Improve Your Self-Care

The awareness of mental health is being talked about on the news, radio, and social media, even celebs are coming out to say they are not okay. The awareness is good and it makes us ask ourselves, how are we really doing? This question is important and if you are thinking about this, you may wonder…what’s next.

Sure you have heard about self-care, that has been one of the most used words other than quarantine since 2020, but just because you heard it a lot doesn’t mean you know what it is and how to do self-care…effectively.

What Is Self-Care?

This is a question you may or may not have asked yourself.

The practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health: - Google Search

So what does this mean: it means taking care of yourself. Putting your health first and being in tune with how you are feeling. Think about things that make you happy, it could be from tasting your favorite candy to seeing your favorite family member. These energy boosters have a way to help us heal, getting us back to productivity, and even helping us feel accomplished.

5 Effective Ways To Improve Your Self-Care

Check-in on yourself. Be sure to write down what you need or what you think is missing. This will require self-work and I do not think this is something you have to know overnight. Take a few days to really think about the last time you were happy, what were you doing at the time? How can you get back to that? If someone was in your life that was making you happy, and they are no longer around, think of the things you did that made you happy whenever you two were together. Work on returning to that person you once were when you were happy.

Start a routine. Having a routine helps with consistency, which leads to results. This is another thing that will not happen overnight, and you may have to play with different routines to see what is best for you. You might find that working out at night is better than working out in the morning. Or writing down your goals at the beginning of the week is better than the end of the week.

Exercise. This does not mean you have to get a membership, lift heavy weights, or join some intense workout group. You can start by walking, engaging in YouTube video workouts, or a stretching video before you go to bed. It is important we move our bodies to avoid stiffness and moving our bodies also becomes a mood booster.

Saying No. This can be hard for a lot of people, especially when it comes to family and close friends. It’s IMPORTANT to say no to the things that you are not comfortable doing, or just don’t want to do. Do not put yourself on the side for something or someone else. Your performance will not be as effective because you will not be able to give your best self. It’s hard to do but just start off by saying, “I am not in a space where I can do_________ for you.” True family and friends will understand.

Sleep. Make it a priority. It is common to be up past bedtime, tying loose ends. It is not uncommon to wait for the children to go to bed and get started on our work. We need just as much sleep as our children. If going to sleep at an adequate time is a challenge, try going to bed 20 minutes before you typically do, set an alarm, and whatever is not done, make it a priority to do the next day.

We All Need To Read This

Take these steps into consideration and be sure to make yourself a priority. Do this for the next 30 days and see how your mood changes. When we put ourselves first we are productive, and effective, and can be there for others. They say you cannot pour from an empty cup and the more I hear this the more I understand the importance of making myself a priority.

Reading is also another great way to put self-care into practice. Take a good book, magazine, or even an audiobook to learn new things and put your imagination to use. Be sure to check out our magazine to learn more ways to care for yourself, find support, and engage in conversation starters. If you are not a fan of paper, check out the digital content and download the latest version or any of our versions today.

Let me know how these activities help you put your self-care into practice. As always I am rooting for your…let’s continue this conversation in the comments.

Signs You Need A Mental Health Day

Taking space from your job, family and everyday obligations are IMPORTANT. We work ourselves to the core until we explode, and typically the majority of us are running on fumes. I would not be surprised if you too felt as if you were running on autopilot.

For years you would see people produce so much work with little rest, I feel like a decade ago people were team NO SLEEP. It was work work work and I am glad to see society for some of us is shifting the gears on what success looks like. When we put our needs last we continue to do ourselves a disservice. If we don’t make US a priority then who will? Your boss, parents, or children? Most of them (if they are not aware) may not see that you are two seconds away from exploding. YOU cannot take care of anyone from an empty cup, so in moments when things become overwhelming, it’s time to take that Mental Health Day my friend.

What is a Mental Health Day?

It’s a day you primarily deal with your emotional well-being. You use this time to focus on relieving stress, enjoying time doing something you like and most importantly relaxing. It’s a day to reset in which is something we all should do.

So when is the right time to take one?

There is no specific day when you should take a mental health day, the important thing is that you take one, especially when your stress levels are at it’s peak. So whether you want to schedule it during the week or the weekend is totally up to you. However, I would say one of the most rewarding times to take one is when you feel is best. For some people there are days that are less hectic than others, for instance on Tuesdays you may not have to run errands and the office may be a little less busy compared to a Friday workday. The reason I say this is because your return back to the office may not be as erratic if you plan accordingly.

But let’s be clear, do not think you have to schedule your Mental Health Day, sometimes we wake up and the desire to get out of bed becomes challenging. So do not feel bad if you have to call your job and say, “hey I just cannot come into the office today.”

signs that display you need to take a mental health day

• Low mood

• Difficulty staying on tasks

• Inability to finish common tasks

• Showing signs of distress

• No desires in doing anything ex: like cooking, washing dishes, getting children ready for bed

• When you are feeling tired, restless, and frustrated at EVERYTHING

This is for your emotional health and no one is responsible to make sure you take your mental health day but you. So when that day comes, let it be all about your well-being. It’s easy to check your email for a few minutes or answer a call regarding work, but it’s critical you allow that to take a back seat as you focus on your emotional well-being. I CAN NOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH

If you are not sure if you have been showing signs of frustration ask those you are around the most. Their honesty will let you know how you have been appearing to them lately. If you do not know how to approach them you can simply say: “Hey,…so I have been thinking about taking a Mental Health Day, do you think this is something I should do? Have I been a little tensed or shown frustration more than usual?” These questions alone can spark a conversation to help you along your wellness journey.

moving forward

Now that you are aware of a Mental Health Day and know when to take one, it’s time to plan for it! Think of your schedule for the next five days, or even the next two weeks if you have to plan further ahead and put MENTAL HEALTH DAY on the calendar. As the day gets closer you may even feel some excitement about putting your health and wellness first. Let me know how it goes for you! And if you want more tips for your wellness journey check out one of our issues, we have soft-cover and digital versions available for you.

I am excited to see how it turns out for you! Keep me posted!

Support Is Important

Bringing awareness allows individuals to educate themselves about a particular disease, cause, or movement. Mental health awareness month has become widely known throughout the years and personally, I think it has helped promote education on self-care along with not judging people who have mental health challenges.

September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. We personally may not know how people are feeling who have suicide ideations, however, it’s critical to be present and let them know you care. Some people believe because they cannot “fix” someone’s issues, they cannot be supportive or any value to someone who is experiencing suidcide ideations. Negative thoughts can spiral down rapidly and when people feel alone or don’t have the support they need, it becomes challenging to fight negative thoughts.

How To Find Support

It’s important to have your support system and things to do when you are not feeling your best. Those days may come but having support can help and encourage along the way.

1. Identify your support system now: this is the best time to sit and think about who you can reach out to for support. You do not want to wait until you are going through a tough time, because support may not be what or who you are thinking about, especially when if you are in a crisis. A support person is something you talk to often and share your thoughts and values. Think of it like this…who do you call when you hear good news? That individual can be identified as one of your supporters.

2. Who do you talk to on the regular? Our friends and family have a way of knowing our behaviors better than we do. They are the first person we talk to when something happens. If something is not going right, they can more than likely feel it. Have a conversation with them and let them know you view them as one of your supporters. Don’t expect them to play this role without having that conversation first…this is important!

3. Inform your supporters how to best help you: this goes along with the conversation, tell your supporters what you want them to do if you are not feeling your best. Some people like to be left alone, others like to be engrossed amongst their friends. Provide your supporters with any contact information they may need, for example, your parents, spouse, or even therapist. If something is not right your supporter can reach out to other close friends of yours so they too can keep an eye out. If you have a therapist, your friend can give your therapist a heads up or provide any concerns they may have.

It takes a village and we all need support. At times we have challenges identifying who we can call our supporters, however, these tips are helpful and I encourage you to follow them. If you are looking for more ways to find support please know our magazine helps by providing content from clinicians, individuals with lived experience and others who make mental health a priority. I would love to know how do you find your support system? Have you used some of the tips I provided in this article, share your comments below as it may help someone in the future.

If You Are Afraid You Are Not Alone

Here is the problem:

There’s so much violence and shooting going on in the world that it’s making people numb. We don’t know what to do or how to have conversations especially when it comes to public shootings.

Sadly mass shootings have been common here in The United States. The shooting that took place in Uvalde, Texas at Robb Elementary School, leaves so many family and friends of the victims distraught. The survivors are dealing with this tragedy reliving the moments as it’s talked about on the news and other media outlets. There clearly needs to be a plan in place regarding gun laws and consequences for those who break them. Personally, I hope that I am wrong but I don’t know if there’s going to be a change in gun laws, as it appears the government talks around it and point fingers instead of taking accountability. How many more shootings are we going to deal with? How many families will have to continue to suffer as they rethink the last time they said bye to their loved ones?

It’s hard to know what to do as a parent, a lot of people on social media express their sympathy and condolences. As well as being afraid to drop their child off at school. This is a trying time and it seems as if we are living in a world where hurting is more common than healing.

So where do we go from here…

• Understand the media will talk about this story a lot and if there are times when you cannot handle it, be sure to take a break, grant yourself some grace and provide yourself with some self-care.

• Take a moment for yourself, no matter what that looks like, it’s okay to cry, process this tragedy with a loved one or most importantly talk to a therapist.

• There is no way to prepare for a mass shooting no matter where you are, yet it is good to talk about understanding your enviornment and if you do not feel safe somewhere…leave if possible.

• Surround yourself with support. They don’t have to have the answers but knowing there is someone you can lean on goes a long way.

Here’s a conversation starter:

How To Talk To Kids About School Shootings

Helping Children Cope With Frightening News

If you do not know where or how to find support understand that support changes all the time. Just because one person is in your life for a period of time does not mean they will always be there. They do not have to have the answers and honestly, support is just showing up and being dependable.

If you have challenges with having support understand that we provide that here. Be sure to check out our magazine and read about how others are dealing with stress and challenges that they are faced with in this world.

Our goal is to end the stigma and allow tough conversations to be had in homes, schools, and in our communities.

Was this article helpful? If so share it and let us know how helpful it was in the comments below.

HerStory: Celebrating Women's Month

Photo by Unsplash

We come in all shapes, sizes, ethnicities, ideas, visions and purpose. I love being a woman; the way God created us and giving us the ability to do extraordinary things with our bodies. We as the other sex have come a long way, from being in the back to moving our way to the front and onward. You see women in higher positions, making executive decisions and empowering the younger generation to live and do what they are destine to do in this world.

I enjoy this time of year because it is all about embracing us as women. This is the time where people all over the world take a moment and celebrate. Acknowledging what we have been through and giving us credit and rightfully so. I thought growing up becoming a woman was going to be the greatest thing ever, being on my own and calling the shots. Little did I know life came with challenges and will continue to do so as life goes on. However, its all about embracing and going through those challenges that makes you a better person. We go through life lessons and it teaches us about ourselves. It provides another layer of skin and gives us another level of experience we can build off of.

For the mothers, wife’s, sisters, best friends, aunties, step-moms, mother-in-laws, single women etc. just know you are loved. This month is for us and for whatever you have going on in your life know that it’s temporary and not to rush through it but take it all in.

To the younger generation understand this: your future awaits and be sure to take some time to invest in yourself, your dreams, and your ambition because you too will be providing direction to a younger generation.

How We Celebrate Ourselves

1. Make Yourself A Priority: no matter what that day or time looks like be sure to put yourself first at some point. Work will always be there, friends will understand, and family members will just have to be patient. Whatever that thing is that you like to do, spend time doing it, whether its dancing, listening to music, taking a bath, spending time in nature, reading a book etc. DO IT. You owe that to yourself.

2. Learn To Say Mo: you don’t own anyone a yes all the time, this includes our children. If you don’t have the capacity or the strength to do something don't commit to it. The first time might be hard especially if you are use to saying yes to someone, but understand that this is something you can do!

3. Treat Yourself: we can be so consumed with obligations and daily routines that we forget to treat ourselves. This could mean buying that outfit or item you have been eying for some time. Or calling up a friend and going out to dinner or simply taking yourself out and enjoying your own company.

There will be days where we want to relax and not do anything and that’s fine. Do not get so consumed in chasing money that you lose sight on your health. You are important in this world and we have to remind ourselves that we are. Our magazine have many articles with tips and ways you can celebrate yourself, there are articles about stress management, how to talk about issues, and even wellness activities you can engage in. Be sure to click here and check it out. So remember to celebrate yourself this month and every month. I look forward to your growth and let me in on any suggestions that you do when it comes to putting yourself first. I would love to hear it!

Here Are 4 Ways To Embrace Our Blackness

Photo by Unsplash

We have come a long way when it comes to embracing our blackness, just think years ago a lot of us wanted to change our looks to fit the status quo. Now we embrace who we are and set the new standard. Black people celebrate being black all year round, however in February, this country acknowledges our culture. Some companies may have special products in the front of their stores to celebrate Black History Month, stores like Target and Bath & Body Works just to name a few.

It’s hard for any other culture to keep a blind eye to what we have overcome over the last couple of decades. I admire the challenges and how we persevere despite the closed doors or disgruntled looks people give when they doubt our doings. Our ancestors are so dope! They paved the way and instilled grit in a lot of us. However, this does not come easy, being turned down moment after moment, doors being shut in our face, and the judicial system constantly reminding us that we don’t matter is quite frustrating. So how do we do it, well I can tell you one thing that I do when I am feeling doubtful or discouraged. I extend self-love to myself.

Self Love Is The Best Love

1. Reflecting: I reflect on the most challenging thing I had to do and thus far. I think of the steps I took and how motivated I was in not giving up. This encourages me to move forward and know that if I was able to get through that challenge, I can get over the next one. Challenges help you become who you are, and it reminds you of why you started doing that thing you are so passionate about.

2. Affirmations: reading, writing and saying affirmations is key. At times, I say the affirmation, others times I put I am…in front of whatever affirmation I want to say to myself. We say I am tired, I am sick, or I a frustrated. Change the narrative and put I am in front of the word and it helps change the mindset.

3. Planning: putting myself on the schedule is key. There is a saying that states; if you don’t choose a day to rest, your body will choose it for you. This is critical, I’d rather pick a day I want to rest as opposed to the latter. Pencil yourself in because no one will do it for you. Schedule a day where you don’t answer calls, you watch tv, read a book or go for a walk, whatever it is, allow your mind to rest. If you find a hard time to pencil out a day to do these things, pencil out 20-30 mins or even an hour if possible, you deserve it. We have a tendency to think we are running this race and have to do things immediately, but who says that you have to do that? This is your life and you can go at a pace that is convenient for you.

4. Reward Yourself: grant yourself some grace. Take a moment and buy that thing that makes you smile. It can be something as small as a treat or a major gift you had your eye on for months. You deserve it, don’t wait for someone to reward you, you should be rewarding yourself.

Most importantly make sure you are getting YOU together. We can’t pour from an empty cup and although people may be depending on us, they deserve our best selves. Heck, we deserve our best selves! Not every day is going to be great and yes we will have our down days, but when we put ourselves first it feels good. Here at Helpful Living Magazine, we are a resource people can dive into and learn how to better themselves and others around them. How and what conversations to have and most importantly how to listen and how to be heard. These are all important factors and we have the resource that is needed. Find out more here, start taking action and learn how to embrace yourself. If you don’t do it then who will?