I had something totally different to blog about this month but the last two days have been quite interesting. I was driving from the post office and drove past my old apartment. Typically I would ride past and not think anything of it, but I wanted to show my oldest son Micah where I used to live. He looked around the neighborhood and was intrigued by the community pool that has not yet opened, and of course the play ground. After glancing around for a few seconds seeing this area for the firs time, he remained quiet and continued to observe. But for me…it brought back memories.
The actual unit I lived in was vacant. I noticed a maintenance man working on the balcony inside of what was the utility closet. From what I can see it appeared dark inside and I assumed someone must have moved out. I wondered if it was the family who moved in after I did, back in 2013?
Exiting the complex brought a smile to my face. Those few short minutes was monumental for me. I realized I have grown so much since living completely on my own since college. I gave myself a pat on the back. Now if you would’ve told me back then life was going to be okay, I would’ve laughed. I experienced some losses in that apartment but left out gaining a lot of wins. At that time I was single, living in a new state and afraid I would live in that apartment forever. A decade and some change later I have a husband and two boys to share life with. That moment of reflecting I realized was more for myself, versus showing Micah my old neighborhood.
“It’s okay to reflect”
I had to remind myself that reflecting is not always a bad thing. Sure there are moments we don’t want to relive but look where you are now, admire who you have become. It’s pivotal moments that makes us who we are. So on my journey of reflecting I want to share this with you:
Visit your old stomping grounds: go past your old high school or any place that helped you become who you are. If you are not in that town, look at some photos from back in the day. I am sure you have some stored somewhere. Or go by your old university, if none of these apply listen to music during that time in your life. Those memories will come back into play. Music always had a way of bringing the past to the forefront, causing laughter and maybe a few tears.
Sit in your feelings and journal about it: allow your mind to go wherever, be attentive to what you are thinking about, how are you feeling, are you tensed, do you chuckle? Whatever you are feeling just sit in it, don’t try to rationalize just let your thoughts be. We need that from time to time, (as long as you are not trying to hurt yourself or anyone else). Then write about it, jot down how you are feeling. Sometimes we need that in our lives, it helps us in the future, especially if the thoughts are challenges we’ve overcome. Sometimes those thoughts can bring back memories of worry, doubt, distress, but afterwards, admire where you are today.
Motivate yourself and know you have more to do: reflecting helps us see how far we have come. It also motivates us to do more. Remember that time when you didn’t think you would get over the first love, or that first closed door to a career opportunity? Look at you now. Continue to reflect, especially during those quiet moments. By the end of reflecting, write down the next three goals you have for yourself.
How do you reflect? I would love to know. I don’t get many moments to sit in quiet, but when I do I often like to read and practice mindfulness. If you are having any challenges with resources or learning how to navigate your feelings our magazine is a great resource to help you. Check out one of our digital copies today and get started. A digital download may be the first step to getting you closer to better self-care.
I am looking forward to your response.
~Jamie