Who is What?

Mental health has been around for over a century and it's time we give it the respect it deserves. People who are diagnosed are not freaks and do not have something "wrong" with them. Let me just put that out there. They are not considered "crazy" and it takes everyone to know that. I want to make that a point because the stigma is what stops people from getting the help they need. People who experience a mental health issue are dealing with life just like you and me. It's vital to help those who are dealing with depression, anxiety, bipolar, schizophrenia, and any other diagnosis that is in the DSM. 

I may be one person but I will take the necessary steps to help those who are struggling with their mental health.

I currently work at a call center and when I talk to people on the phone they are not certain who does what. This is a list of mental health professionals that informs you on who does what. The education is imperative and you will thank me later. You can smile now.

Therapist- is a master's level clinician who can provide therapy to an individual or in a group setting. They help people with issues and talk to individuals who are dealing with life stressors. These providers have an LCSW-C or LCPC

Psychologist-person who studies the human mind. They complete treatment plans and can diagnose individuals. This person has a doctorate degree in psychology and they can also teach in a school setting. 

PsyD- is a clinical psychologist who provides counseling. They can go into private practice and counsel those who are dealing with mental health issues.

Psychiatrist-is a medical level clinician who prescribe medication for those who have a mental health diagnosis. They also diagnosis individuals and also help with the treatment of the brain. The difference between a psychiatrist and psychologist is that a psychiatrist can prescribe medication, a psychologist cannot. 

Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner - this is fairly new in mental health. These clinicians are skilled nurses who are trained in mental health and provide mental health services to individuals and families. They are typically under the supervision of a psychiatrist. Because they are new compared to a psychiatrist they have more availability when it comes to scheduling an appointment. 

WHO CAN SEEK TREATMENT

Mental health is open to anyone who wants it. Some people may feel the urge to talk to someone and the first step they can do is contact their insurance company. They can also go to Psychology Today and find a list of resources. Psychology Today have providers with their picture and some have their website information. You go on the website and type your city or zip code and the list of providers will appear. Some have a list of specialties they work with and if they do group therapy in addition to individual therapy. 

You can also contact your insurance company to see what providers are in your network and the benefits you have on your plan. Click here to see other who is in-network with your insurance company as well as a list of resources.

Suicide Is Real

Today I spoke to a woman who lost her parent to suicide. The conversation was brief but I could not help but feel my emotions wanting to burst. I wanted to cry for her because someone in her life decide to take their own life. I wanted to continue to cry because that person believed there was no one there that could help her and she decided to end her life. Sadly, this is not something that’s unusual. Suicide is real and there are more people that think about doing the act than you think. We have to become a society where we notice acts like this and what we should do.

Contemplating suicide is not an easy decision. People don’t wake up wanting to harm themselves out of nowhere. It’s not a pleasant feeling and it typically follows by a series of current events. There’s a lot of going back and forth when someone wants to take their own life. Those that are successful leave behind family and friends that soon blame themselves for not listening or paying attention to the signs. Despite how a suicidal person feels, no one should feel that they have to take their life away to get attention. 

And who’s to say that person wanted the attention? However something went wrong. Picking up pills or purchasing a weapon that leads to death is a serious matter. It takes a lot of thought to think suicide through. It’s rare to know what that last person’s thoughts were because some people that commit suicide are by themselves, but we do know they were at their wits end at that point. 

Every September is Suicide Awareness Month, if you see any signs of someone feeling bad or not themselves, it’s imperative that we display acts of kindness. If someone is feeling lonely we can talk to them on the phone, take them out for a walk, or a simple gesture of coffee. Having someone listen to issues (not necessarily solving them) allows people to know they can be heard. That their voice matters and they are not wrong for feeling the way they do. It’s harmless to be kind and in the world we live in today, besides there is too much cruelty we face on a day to day. 

Think about those who committed suicide, famous people like Robert Williams and Kate Spade, there are a list of people but to society it seems like these celebs are living their best lives. What could possibly go wrong with someone who is successful right? 

Mental health can happen to anyone, NO ONE is exempt to experiencing any kind of mental health issues. One problem (like loneliness) can lead to another problem which can be a ripple effect causing people to feel overwhelmed and if the issue is not receiving any attention it can lead to something worse. Most likely, it will lead to something worse. Therefore, it’s important to know signs and take someone literally if they proclaim they are dealing with suicidal thoughts. 

What are some signs?

First and foremost it’s important to know suicide does not need a cause. However, if you notice mood changes, agitation, recklessness, or someone talking about feeling hopeless or helpless, just know it’s vital to offer help to that individual. Be that shoulder they can depend on and ear for them to vent. Let them know they are valuable and that you are there if they need you. People need to hear that someone cares about them. You don’t have to be suicidal and knowing someone cares for you can make you feel better about yourself. We all can attest to that. 

Check up on the person from time to time. Give them a call and ask them how their day was. It doesn’t have to be anything in debt, just let them know you were thinking about them. When someone express themselves verbally they are getting out any thoughts and issues that are built up inside of them. Many times when people talk they are not looking for answers. I often provide resources only if they ask, and I try my best to not make the conversation about myself and give advice only when asked to. It’s quite easy to go off on a tangent and forget the reason for the initial call, but listening and learning how to be an effective listener can take the edge off of someone’s bad day. 

If someone you know is going through a hard time and you don’t know what to do, talk to them about seeing a health care professional. You can even look up some resources and help them find a provider in the area. You can look up their reviews online and check what kind of insurance they take. Also inquire about the employee assistance program (EAP) they provide free services and the sessions depend on the company, however help can be obtained. 

We want to decrease suicide attempts and being an ear to vent to goes a long way. If you or you know someone that is contemplating suicide please call the suicide prevention hotline for help at 1800-273-8255. That one phone call can save someone’s life. 

Why I Decided to See a Therapist after Pregnancy

There’s a lot of joyful moments during pregnancy along with advice, criticism, and things people tell you they did while they were pregnant. I must say my pregnancy journey was not a harsh one. I did not experience morning sickness, I was able to exercise whenever I didn’t feel lazy, and I worked up until five days prior to my due date. I felt good for the most part. I had good reports from the OBGY-N and my primary doctor. Our baby shower was a success and we have yet bought a pack of wipes or a case of diapers thus far. Our son latched on immediately and I gain more breast milk to put in the freezer. Things were looking good and I felt ready to take on the journey that was ahead of me. But after a few weeks of our son’s birth, I knew I had to see a therapist. My mental state depended on it.

People told me to say goodbye to sleep but I wasn’t sure how much sleep I was going to lose. During the hospital stay, I was spoiled by the nurses, they checked up on me every hour and helped me whenever I needed rest. I healed up better than I expected and I was walking around the hospital whenever I felt the need to stretch my legs. I was ready to go home, more than ever and the car ride home was not as bad as I was told.

Our first night home was eventful, we were up all night and our wonderful Yorki thought it was a good idea to poop in the baby’s room. Our son was screaming his head off and we all were adjusting to a new life in our home. My husband stepped on the poop in route to changing our son’s diaper. I had to take control and tell him we were going to be okay, let’s take care of the baby and poop and make our way back to bed. That first night turned into many sleepless nights. I woke up delusional wondering if having a child was really in the books for me. I wanted some rest of any kind and a small part of me wanted my old life back. I was later informed that those feelings were normal and that it will get better soon but I wasn’t sure when soon was going to come. 

7 Strategies to Face Life’s Challenges By Jennifer Kunst Ph.D

People were respectful and gave me space. We were not overwhelmed with visitor and a part of me enjoyed that. Another part of me felt alone and was wondering why people weren’t rushing to our house to see the new baby. My hormones were out of wack and after my husband’s short week of vacation I was home alone with a baby and I didn’t know a thing about parenthood. Sure there’s a lot of reading material and a boatload of advice from people that call themselves experts but this was my baby, a new human being that called the shots, a person with his own objective and it took trial and error to figure out what the heck was going on whenever he started crying.

At this point, I didn’t realize how important family involvement was. It wasn’t easy for anyone in my family to come by and stay a week or even a weekend to spend with us. They all lived hours away and in between work schedules and already scheduled vacations, many people told me they would try to make it to Maryland and I only could depend on their word. Days turned into weeks and my loneliness turned into anger. I had the support of people that loved me dearly but it’s different when it’s not coming from your own bloodline.

I tell people all the time I married into the best family God put on Earth. I  But there is something soothing to my aunt holding our child, or my grandma giving our son some wisdom. It’s a great feeling to hear compliments from my family and friends.  There’s something about family that makes life special, it’s an unexplainable feeling and I can’t put my finger on it, but I am sure you can relate.

My anger became worse each day. My thoughts were negative and when someone tried to help, I looked at them as if they were getting in the way. I was overwhelmed and felt like I didn’t have control over my mental state. I had to schedule an appointment to get these feelings out of me, and I knew I had a lot to express.

We all want acceptance from somebody at some point in our life…

Expressing my anger and hearing someone validate my thoughts were welcoming. We all want to hear someone say, “you did a great job,” or “you are doing it the right way.” I later questioned myself what is the right way? Why are we so subjective to being accepted to what other people think. They are living life just as we are, who are they to condone what I do with my life?

I wanted acceptance from people who were struggling with life themselves.  But when I didn’t get that confirmation, I felt neglected and abandoned. Yet therapy helped me realize their acceptance is not the all in be all. I have a life that I need to live and I cannot wait for someone to say “good job” or be in my presence to make me feel good. I have the right to be angry and the authority to express my feelings and move on with life.

Therapy made me realize I had to channel my thoughts. I acknowledge my fears and now I am moving forward. I faced the challenge of expressing myself to someone who I felt I couldn’t express myself to. I listened to the explanation and decided on what I wanted to do with it. I later realized we all have choices in life, we can soak in sorrow or face our fears and move on. I’m deciding to go with the second option.

At first, I thought I was going through postpartum depression and a part of me thinks that I was. None the less the important thing I did for myself and my family was to talk to someone professionally. The good thing is I know there is nothing wrong with seeking help. I personally think everyone needs a therapist in their contact list. However, there are some people who feel they can handle things on their own despite what good can come out seeing a  professional.

We Have Feelings for a Reason

During therapy, I was able to be myself and talk about the things that made me upset without being judged. I was able to get some pointers about facing my fears and I was understood by someone who walked in my shoes long before I became pregnant.

NOBODY has it all together. We all are figuring out life just like the next person, and just because someone needs an extra boost does not make them less of a human being. Having a baby is tough when emotions and unmet expectations are involved, but that does not mean we have to stop living. It took for me to talk to my therapist to appreciate the people who are in my life and those who show that they care. I’ve learned to not yearn for those who decide to keep their distance and embrace the people who stand in my corner. People come into your life and others go astray and that’s okay. I’ve learned I am not responsible for other people’s feelings and that was a HUGE hurdle I had to face.

But it’s done and now it’s something I can talk about.

I'm Far From Perfect

And that’s okay. I’ve come to grips knowing that everything in life is not going to be peaches and cream. Not every friendship will last and relationships with family members will tarnish. Spending time alone may be something that becomes the norm the older you get and I will be the first one to tell you that is okay…because it is! Life has a way of throwing a lot at us ( so much more than the shade that people throw at us on social media ). Despite what society says your life is YOURS and it’s all in what you make it, and what you consider to be perfect. 

I struggle with change in more ways then one. Transitioning to a new job, having a baby, and fighting against time daily is draining. It’s my new reality and when we are face with changes we have two options we migrate to, we either, complain or conquer. And to be honest option one is typically my go to, but then I have to get myself together and say “you know what…you got this”. I have to have meetings with myself and say “no not today devil, there is no room to entertain your today.”

But over the last few months, the devil had me thinking. I was feeling sorry for myself. I haven’t been able to get out the house or work out. I come home from work and do what is required and it’s the same thing day after day. This new schedule is driving me insane, which makes me feel like I’m existing. There are fun moments in my life but that’s it. Once Monday morning comes its back to work sitting at a cubical taking in calls and hearing people yell at me when they are not happy with the results. I just don’t understand it I did what was required or what society said I needed to do in order to be successful, so why do I feel this way? Why do I feel drain and unaccomplished, why does it seem like everyone’s life is better than mines? I struggle with these thoughts daily and that’s just in the morning! I haven’t even got to the afternoon yet!

Every time I think about giving up on a goal, there is someone from somewhere telling me to keep going. What I want to do seems nearly impossible, but I once heard a preacher say trusting God can make you shake hands with the impossible. (Thank you Pastor William Curtis) So what does that mean? I know things what I’m suppose to do and I do those things however, I struggle with being happy. The enemy is extremely busy and he will use any bit of idle moments to filled your head with thought of uncertainties and doubt. 

Fun Fact: You have to remember why your started

There are so many people doing great things in the world. That goes to shows me that I can accomplish my goals as well. I’m no different than the person who is successful, I just have to put my mind to it and block the negativity. I have to say “No Satan not today” and keep rolling with the punches. God gives me these visions and throughout the day I feel the enemy gives me a thousand and one reasons why that vision can’t happen. 

I hear this: “you’re wasting your time, go do something else, this is not going to work” or I’ll instantly have a bad day, deteriorating me from blessing others and do the work God attended for me to do. I am not perfect as a matter of fact I’m no where near perfect I am probably at the end of the spectrum when it comes to perfectionism, but each day I am reminded that God has my life and I must try my best to live the way He intended for me to live. 

And I’m okay with that! 

Jamie 

Self: Not Today

I have “private meetings”with myself. It usually takes place in the car, I use to think something was wrong with me, but I soon realized I had to have these conversations to keep myself grounded. I’m not a rocket scientist but I do know I am not alone. 

To those that do not understand, live a little longer, you’ll see. The first time I spoke to myself was after I was having a conversation with God. I moved to another state and I was not sure if I made the right decision. My world was stuck, I wasn’t moving and for some reason I felt as if I was not ever going to get out of this state of mind. I was alone, my friends were in relationships (amazing ones at that) and my family was a phone call a way, but sometimes that is not good enough. We all despise the feeling of loneliness and I had a hard time dealing with mines. However, having these “talks” seen me through rough times. 

I continue to do this and sometimes I have to tell myself “no not today”. There are moments when I feel bad for myself, at this age I feel like I am suppose to be further than I am. I should be successful as an author, and should be running my own business. I know things are done in God’s timing but the “waiting” period is the toughest assignment God gives us. Knowing that something will change with no hint or sign of it happening soon can be scary. I think we give ourselves a timeline and when God does not align with that timeline we get nervous, scared, or even thinking about giving up.  

Yet telling myself “not today” gets me back on track, knowing that I still have work to do. I can’t expect God to give me what I want at an instant without putting in the work, and I most definitely cannot expect a change while feel bad about myself. That doesn’t even sound right in the same sentence. 

Being alone, feeling depressed and having negative thoughts can alter our moods. It can unstable us to thinking we are not good enough. Depression is not easy to conquer and it’s not something we can SNAP out of. That’s one reason why I think mental health does not get the recognition it deserves. Mental Health is not a bruise we can VISUAL see. If someone is talking about how sad they are and struggle with getting up to go to work, others may not know how to handle it. People who have not experience depression or mental health can have a difficult time being empathetic. Some may not even know what to say, but to it is important to know that saying something is not always needed. Being there for someone is what matters most. 

9 Surprising Benefits of Talking to Yourself-Linda Carbone

 However, in some cases “people” are not around. What do you do when you can’t get in touch with your best friend, parents, spouse, or anyone else you call when you are feeling down? Sometimes we have to have these “pep talks” its mandatory for our lives in order for us to move forward. When we become fearful of the unknown we can worry ourselves to our graves. We can put an entire show in our head and the outcome of whatever we are about to experience will be better than we expected. Talking to yourself will allow you to process your thoughts and blow off steam. Sometimes when we talk whether it is to ourselves our to someone else we process what we are going through.

 Another major thing about talking to yourself is the decrease in anxiety and stress. We all know this is a big one for those who worry. When we go over and over in our head what is going on…it helps. 

 Years ago (I don’t know when) it was reported that if you talked to yourself you were considered crazy. I’m so thankful that is not the case nowadays because everyone would be considered crazy. So just know you are not alone when or if you want to start talking to yourself. Your conversations do not have to be long. It can be a sentence or two. Most people say things to themselves before they perform or have to do a presentation. Those few moments of talking to yourself can make our break your day.

Keep feeding yourself that positive information because we live in a world where negativity hits you the moment you open your front door. Look in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are and how you are going to get through the day despite what happened yesterday or the day before. Changing the way you talk to yourself builds confidence and we need when we experience tough days. It’s okay to cry during your conversations with yourself and even pour out your frustration. It’s vital and helps our wellbeing on a daily basis.

So go ahead express yourself…to yourself. You’ll be surprise how better you will feel overall.

-Jamie