Today I spoke to a woman who lost her parent to suicide. The conversation was brief but I could not help but feel my emotions wanting to burst. I wanted to cry for her because someone in her life decide to take their own life. I wanted to continue to cry because that person believed there was no one there that could help her and she decided to end her life. Sadly, this is not something that’s unusual. Suicide is real and there are more people that think about doing the act than you think. We have to become a society where we notice acts like this and what we should do.
Contemplating suicide is not an easy decision. People don’t wake up wanting to harm themselves out of nowhere. It’s not a pleasant feeling and it typically follows by a series of current events. There’s a lot of going back and forth when someone wants to take their own life. Those that are successful leave behind family and friends that soon blame themselves for not listening or paying attention to the signs. Despite how a suicidal person feels, no one should feel that they have to take their life away to get attention.
And who’s to say that person wanted the attention? However something went wrong. Picking up pills or purchasing a weapon that leads to death is a serious matter. It takes a lot of thought to think suicide through. It’s rare to know what that last person’s thoughts were because some people that commit suicide are by themselves, but we do know they were at their wits end at that point.
Every September is Suicide Awareness Month, if you see any signs of someone feeling bad or not themselves, it’s imperative that we display acts of kindness. If someone is feeling lonely we can talk to them on the phone, take them out for a walk, or a simple gesture of coffee. Having someone listen to issues (not necessarily solving them) allows people to know they can be heard. That their voice matters and they are not wrong for feeling the way they do. It’s harmless to be kind and in the world we live in today, besides there is too much cruelty we face on a day to day.
Think about those who committed suicide, famous people like Robert Williams and Kate Spade, there are a list of people but to society it seems like these celebs are living their best lives. What could possibly go wrong with someone who is successful right?
Mental health can happen to anyone, NO ONE is exempt to experiencing any kind of mental health issues. One problem (like loneliness) can lead to another problem which can be a ripple effect causing people to feel overwhelmed and if the issue is not receiving any attention it can lead to something worse. Most likely, it will lead to something worse. Therefore, it’s important to know signs and take someone literally if they proclaim they are dealing with suicidal thoughts.
What are some signs?
First and foremost it’s important to know suicide does not need a cause. However, if you notice mood changes, agitation, recklessness, or someone talking about feeling hopeless or helpless, just know it’s vital to offer help to that individual. Be that shoulder they can depend on and ear for them to vent. Let them know they are valuable and that you are there if they need you. People need to hear that someone cares about them. You don’t have to be suicidal and knowing someone cares for you can make you feel better about yourself. We all can attest to that.
Check up on the person from time to time. Give them a call and ask them how their day was. It doesn’t have to be anything in debt, just let them know you were thinking about them. When someone express themselves verbally they are getting out any thoughts and issues that are built up inside of them. Many times when people talk they are not looking for answers. I often provide resources only if they ask, and I try my best to not make the conversation about myself and give advice only when asked to. It’s quite easy to go off on a tangent and forget the reason for the initial call, but listening and learning how to be an effective listener can take the edge off of someone’s bad day.
If someone you know is going through a hard time and you don’t know what to do, talk to them about seeing a health care professional. You can even look up some resources and help them find a provider in the area. You can look up their reviews online and check what kind of insurance they take. Also inquire about the employee assistance program (EAP) they provide free services and the sessions depend on the company, however help can be obtained.
We want to decrease suicide attempts and being an ear to vent to goes a long way. If you or you know someone that is contemplating suicide please call the suicide prevention hotline for help at 1800-273-8255. That one phone call can save someone’s life.