We All Need Help

There are many caregivers that works in hospitals, nursing homes, and residential homes just to name a few. Have you ever witness a job working with patients? You have to have patience and thick skin. There are days when staff members want to walk out. When the acuity is high it can get hectic, causing you to look for another job. Or better yet question yourself about this profession. At times you feel like a number and wonder if your manager or company really cares about you. You are overworked, tired, and underpaid. Not to forget you have to deal with clients, their family members, and anyone else who feels they have authority over a patient’s well-being. It’s tough work and that is the reason there is such a high turnover rate in the healthcare profession.

I worked on an inpatient unit dealing with children, adolescents and adults. I also worked at a residential facility and a clinic. There are times when patients get personal with you and you can take something away from their story, and that same patient will cuss you out, claiming you’ve done nothing for them. It can be an emotional roller coaster. I’ve taken that ride one too many times but I had to remember they too were dealing with unresolved issues that caused them to struggle mentally. 

There was a time I was at work and a child turned on me, she cussed me out and I was so close to walking out of the door. The charge nurse came after me and gave me a pep talk, she said “it’s not worth it, you don’t want to walk out on this job and lose what you worked hard for,” those words stuck with me, it made me realize there was more to life that a child who was suffering mentally. I had an apartment and bills to take care of. After talking to the charge nurse it dawned on me, WE HAVE to be there for each other because we all were dealing with the same kind of WORK RELATED STRESS. 

Obtaining a career patient care is beyond challenging. We are helping those who are dealing with MENTAL and EMOTIONAL abuse. We take the abusive words and try to redirect people into thinking in a different way. We listen, tend to their needs and stay consistent with care. You don’t refuse to help a patient because they said they hate you or because they didn’t want to join coping skills group. There is so much dysfunction going on inside of them, its vital we stay consistent and show the same love while they are in our care. But after working in the mental health field for so long I started to wonder, WHO LOOKS AFTER US? Who makes sure our well-being is taken care of? Sure they have staff appreciation day, and our managers would surprise us with a pizza party here and there but what about our mental health? They say you can’t help others if you are not well yourself…does that exclude workers in the mental health field?

You’d be surprise what someone is dealing with, especially those who are taking care of others. Often times during coping skills group we tell clients to make sure they are taking care of themselves. We talk about self-care and the importance of doing something for yourself. That alone was a reminder of whatI have to do. We can get so wrapped up into our daily responsibilities that it becomes inevitable that we take a moment to do what we tell others to do.  

If you are working in the mental health field please take time for yourself. This can involve in:

• Hanging out with friends

• Reading a book

• Going to the gym

• Attend a social class or workout class

• Take a mental health day when needed

• Go outside during breaks

• Building a support system within the hospital

Having an accountability person also help when we are going through a rough time at work. Please remember patients are doing what they know how to do best…being patients. Most of them are not aware of how your day is going, or what you are going through at home. If you are struggling with work and need to take a day off please have that conversation with your supervisor and know that you are not alone.

~What ideas do you have when it comes to self care? Please take a moment and write it in the comments section, I would love to hear from you!

Go Take The High Road

I went to the gym recently to get my work out on. It’s been a while since I did a workout class and I must say it was fun! I was surprised that I was able to keep up with everyone. There were some rough parts but all in all I got through it, and I felt good about it once the class was over. However, during parts of the workout negative thoughts creep into my mind. For a split second (and I do mean a split second) I entertained those thoughts but I gained control and informed those thoughts I was the boss and I was not going to stop working out. 

Those thoughts started to formulate when I looked in the mirror while I was doing an exercise. For that split second the thoughts stated “look at you, why are you trying to lose weight? It’s not going to work, look how silly you look trying to work out.”  

I shook my head and told my thoughts to myself “not today”. 

See: I had two options.

I could’ve sat and whined about those thoughts.

I could of agreed with those thoughts.

But I had the energy to say no! I was getting through the workout and I am going to lose THIS weight. If I entertain those thoughts from a workout, there’s no telling what else would hinder me. Over the years I’ve allowed negativity to be my best friend. I allowed it to take CONTROL over my accomplishments in life. I stopped living because of the negativity that controlled my actions for so long. It’s time to live, and by all means I am going to work on my purpose and turn them into my paycheck. Despite what others say, or how things turn out the first time. I’ve learned in order to grow I have to step out and do the work. I can’t expect to be advance in anything I do if I stay hibernated in my passion. I’ve come to the realization last night, and I am praying the same for you. 

What negativity will do? 

• It will make you angry. It will questions your existence and can KILL your dream. There are so many people living on this earth that is not living up to God’s purpose. Those people are living paycheck to paycheck, unhappy at their jobs, and struggling to find happiness. Those people are you and me. It’s time to make a change and to push towards your passion. 

We are all designed with gifts. Some people know right away what their gift is. Others don’t, despite how long it takes, it is vital we find out what we are passionate about. It gives us a different perspective of life. It makes us feel proud of who we are and whom we become in the future. Life is supposed to be enjoyable. It’s supposed to be memorable and peaceful. 

I know this is easier said than done. Life has a way of diverting us into our purpose. We have children we have to take care of and a roof to keep over our head. Yet, I believe when we step into our purpose and tell negativity no, we turn into a new person. We become determined and ignite that fire that will change us forever. It’s time to tell negativity no, it’s time to get our hands dirty, face challenges, and learn from our mistakes. If we continue to listen to our negativity, we may never get there. 

Each day we have two choices to make when we get up, those choices are: to step into your purpose, or to live the way you’ve been living. If the way you have been living is not satisfactory for your life, why continue to choose that route?  

When we don’t live purposefully we start to question our existence. If you are having difficulty figuring out your purpose, think about this:

• What are some things you like to do?

• What can you do for free?

• Lastly, what problems do you want to solve in this world?

Answering these three questions should ignite some kind of fire. The more we live purposefully the better we are at being happy. I choose to be happy and so should you.

5 Ways To Stop Negative Thoughts

There’s a part of me that wants to turn in the towel. But that’s only a small percentage. The thoughts come and go but they have been hanging around a lot more. They will say things like “quit,” “you’re not good enough”, or “why would anyone purchase that”. It gets to be annoying after a while until I realize the thoughts are a part of the process. If I continue to listen to those statements I will lose all the hard work I accomplished and be back to square one. No one is successful overnight (It’s pretty rare). Then I realized how many other people are struggling through sticking with the process of their goals and not giving up.

 The same goes for weight loss, eating right, finishing school, or accomplishing something like starting a business or saving up for a home. We all have goals in life, and if we are going to continue to live our life, we mind as well live it by accomplishing our ambitions.

 The moments I become stuck and don’t know what to do, or entertain the negative thoughts, which lets me know it is time for a break. Mentally. That break does not have to be long. It can be a few minutes, hours, or even a day. Nothing drastic because I don’t want to become lazy, just enough time to meditate and get back to the drawing board.

 We are all good enough to accomplish what God placed in our hearts to pursue. There are some things that will continue to appear in your life, if you were meant to write a book, the opportunity will present itself until you do. If you were meant to speak and motivate others, you’d be surprise what God will align in order for that vision to become a reality.

 I have been writing for a long time. It’s been almost ten years since I started my first blog. I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t even know what a niche was, but I continued to write. I eventually published a few novels and now I have a published magazine, an audience and a purpose for my product. I have come a long way, but I know I have longer to go. And that’s when the thoughts appear. I get so concerned and sometimes vested into my thoughts that I hinder my own success by pushing my projects off for the next day. I am determined to make Helpful Living Magazinea well-known magazine to those dealing with mental illness. No matter how long it takes.

 When negative thoughts strike I have to take the initiative to reevaluate my purpose. There are ways of doing that in order to get my life back on track. 

 Reading:there are so many people who struggled before you. Luckily some have written about their journey with tips and motivation for you to continue to pursue yours. I am currently reading The Gift of Imperfection by Brene’ Brown P.hD. This book has helped me thus far and reading a few minutes of it can help me get out of the funk that encounters my life every so often. I encourage you to pick up a book and do some reading. We live in a world where instant gratification is at an all-time high. We watch videos on our devices and watch television and it’s rare we pick up a book and read. Did you know many wealthy people read for hours at a time and make it a part of their routine? That’s something to think about.

 Journaling: is one of the ways we can express ourselves. Writing things on paper is a great way express your feelings. Have you ever tried talking to someone on the phone and all they did during the conversation was cut you off? That happened to me multiple times, to the point where I didn’t even want to talk about my problems anymore. Better yet, there are people you talk to and all they want to do is solve the problem for you, but you really called to vent and get your thoughts off of your chest. I know I am not the only one out here. Well, writing allows you to focus on your thoughts without any disruptions. It’s a great way to process what you are going through and the bonus feature is reading back on previous journal entries and acknowledging the growth. We all like growth right? If you don’t know where to start I advised getting a prompt journal book. I got one from Target and it asked questions about different topics that I was able to talk about. Krystal Lee has great journals as well as Girl Be Free Journal, located on Be Free Project website. These places are for women who want to grow spiritually and individually. You will be surprise the changes you will make when you use a journal. I personally feel like it makes you feel accountable for your actions and forces you to think outside the box when it comes to problem solving. You don’t always have to be in an emergency to come up with a plan to be successful. Like the say if you fail to plan you will plan to fail.  

 Exercising: this is something we all need to do. Thirty minutes of physical activity is a great place to start. It frees your mind all while you are getting your body together. Releasing those toxics do something to your body. In addition to working out, there are a lot of exercise groups you can join where you can engage with other people who are working on the same goal. Once you start exercising (and become consistent) you will start to be aware of the physical changes, which helps you mentally. If you are not into working out at a gym there are a lot of programs like Beachbody and work out apps you can sign up for.

 Resting: this can be hard to come by for a lot of people. Working on our craft is something we must put time in to do, however we have to give our mind time to rest. When we are overloaded our brains are fried and we are not helpful to anyone, principally ourselves. It is easy to have the “go go go” mentality but in all actuality you have to ask yourself “what is the rush?” God will allow things to come in the time they are meant to come. Therefore, if you have to go to bed an hour earlier to refresh yourself then do so. If you have to take a nap in the middle of the day, or when you come home from work, then do that too. If you are a parent and can’t find time because you have children, then try to go to bed a little earlier after their bedtime. Some things may have to get pushed off until the next day, which is fine because you want to be able to live the next day and not be a zombie.

Do Something Fun: we have to do things to take our minds off of our work.  That could be meditating, talking on the phone (keep it limited and its helpful if its productive) watching TV (again minimum, some people binge watch but I would really keep that to a minimum). Find something fun to do like go outside or visit that place your child has been ranting and raving about (park, Sky-zone, a museum etc.). Getting out the house or out of the work environment can change the highlight of someone’s day. We can sit and focus on our goals, dreams, and vision for so long and not realize time is passing us by. Chasing money is a common thing and everyone want to “get that bag” but you don’t want to be exhausted to the point that you can’t enjoy it right? 

Have fun in the meantime and know that with persistence your goals will be accomplished and God will align the right people in your path. 

What resonated with you from this blog post?

Our Scars Make Us Who We Are

I immersed negative thoughts throughout the day. Often questioning my existence or worse, talk myself out of doing something I know can enhance my accomplishments. I’d watch people succeed around me, scrolling down on Instagram or Facebook and deemed on the achievements of other. I’m certain that I will make a difference in life, but in order to do so, I had to get started.

This frightens me because starting can be complicated. It is not as straightforward as one would think. At least that’s how I feel at this moment. What would people say, or what response would I have if someone pointed out grammatical errors? What if the website didn’t function so profoundly? What if no one understood the point I was trying to make, or worse, dismantle my writing, making me feel inadequate or under accomplished.

These thoughts allowed me to take the easy route. I constantly put off the goals I set for myself in the morning, as if it the task would complete itself. I told myself that tomorrow was the official start date, which after weeks of making that statement, starting never happened. This led to one setback after another.

Over months of disappointment, I recognized the hindrance of my own accomplishments. It wasn’t until I heard a podcast titled Jesus and Jollof host by Luvvie Ajayi and Yvonne Orji that put a fire under my writing. These two Nigerian women provoked me to get started. They weren’t just talking to me but it felt like it. Their dialog informed me that we have to put trust into ourselves because if we didn’t, who would?

Prior to starting my second website I thought about the past endeavors and the proudness I felt afterwards. I remembered the challenges and mistakes that added to the scars of my journey. My first E-book showed me the authenticity of business. It demonstrated how someone could take advantage due to ignorance. I had to demand what I want out of my hard work. The long hours of working on a project had to be respected by others, and if you did not demand it, no one would respect it. It was as simple as that! I learned how to protect my efforts and it is okay to not go with the first offer. Had I known what I know now, I would not have sold my E-book to a company that viewed me as a number.

I remember reaching out to the publisher only to get connected to voicemail. I was anxious whenever I did talk to him, hoping he would see things my way, but that never happened. I decided to leave that E-book where it belonged, on a website with other E-books that fought for attention. On a positive note, I had a lot of ideas inside my head and that novel was just a taste of reality I quickly learned from. My second novel was paperback and I was beyond proud when I came face to face with the hard work printed in front of my eyes.

Problems occurred and one person who I was eager to read my novel told me this was by far one of the worse books she ever read. My heart was crushed. I went to the publisher who insured me that my novel was not the worse, but in fact it was good. The person soon apologized for the truth but I didn’t blame her. I only respected her opinion. She was concerned of the publisher and pointed out the issues she had with the novel. She was a white older woman, who didn’t pick up the dialog of Black Americans. We came from two different generations and obviously two different backgrounds, however it forced me to dig deeper. I wanted to appease an audience that would understand me and accepted me with my flaws and all…but I did not want to seem uneducated by simple mistakes. I knew I had work to do.

Adding to my journey I grasped the need of more education. In grad school, I watched how a professor gave me insight on how to pick up on grammatical errors. His advice was a light bulb that went off in my head. That moment I viewed writing under a different perspective. I watched how I evolved in writing and in confidence. I caught my grammatical errors and sometimes chuckled at mistakes I once overlooked. I am not a perfectionist with this craft, but I am getting there. My additional education led me to obtaining a Masters in Communication, and a better understanding on how to navigate the fire of writing.

I walked across that stage with confidence knowing I took something valuable from Notre Dame of Maryland University, and this time I was going to put that knowledge to work. I blogged confidently and after consistency of writing, I found my niche. My purpose in life became meaningful and the negative thoughts faded silently in the background. I grew up and most importantly I became aware of the mistakes I made. But I choose to own up to my scars. I am nowhere near perfect, yet I am far from done.

Despite what happens in the next chapter of my life, I will succeed. There may be bumps in the road, tears shed behind my MAC laptop, and even doubts before I press publish on the computer. Nevertheless, I will continue to brush off the dust, grow, and become a woman people will soon know as a great writer.

-Jamie Bess

Funky Mood: Here's How to Get Out of It

Since March, I have been enjoying the journey of maternity leave. Prior to taking a hiatus from my job, I anticipated for day I would not have to return to work. All to know that motherhood is an excursion in itself.  I’ve cried, became frustrated, and confused when it came to soothing our son whenever he cried. There were even times when I cried, however, I’ve learned to take a deep breath and work through it.

During my maternity leave I don’t have many places to go with a newborn, (especially with this unpredictable weather). After so many days of staying in the house, it started messing with my mental state. When walls look the same and your creative mind is challenged there are times when you want to throw in the towel and say forget it!  I sat and watch television all day, talk on the phone about meaningless conversations, while changing diapers, nursing, and singing songs that have no meaning, (which is interesting I must say). This pattern happened consecutively and it got to a point where I became angry. I didn’t know what I want for my life and I was starting to feel like my life was chipping away. I was no longer an individual who had a dream, but a mom who had someone depending on them.

I love being a mom, and I am grateful to have a healthy baby, but sometimes I felt like that’s all I was…a mom. I believed my dreams were on the backburner and I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to focus on them again. I viewed other people who were successful and became jealous. I was afraid that I would not be able to do what I wanted to do in life, as if my aspirations were taken away from me. This became scary because I thought what if I don’t do what I really wanted to do in life? This lead to frustration and confusion. One of the reasons why I felt this way was because growing up people would say, “when you have children your life is over.”

It took for me to pay attention to my mental mind to understand that life is what you make it, and that people will put their downfalls on you. Just because someone else became a parent and wasn’t able to conquer their dreams does not mean that will be my life.

6 Tips to Reduce Your Daily Stress and Anxiety

It took a few weeks and self-evaluation for me to realize that life is what you make it. I spoke to family and friends who encouraged me to continue to strive and pursue my dreams. It’s important for me to not ignore the negative thoughts that were going on in my head but to figure out how to change the way I think. I had to talk about it and figure out how to get out of the funk. One of the things I did to help get passed my depression was journaling, reading, and listening to podcasts. Friends assured me the feelings I was going through was normal. I had to look at being a mother as an extension of myself instead of feeling like my life was being taken away from me.

I Witness a lot Staying at Home

It allowed me to see life during the day and most importantly it gave me time to see what I can do with my blog. Nowadays, we live in a time where we can be creative and do not have to depend on a 9-5 for an income. Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with working, heck I have to go back in about two months. But in between naps, pumping breast milk, and feeding the little one, I found time to invest in reading, blogging, writing newsletters, and creating new things for Women for Thought. 

During the beginning stages of staying at home, I gave my mind a rest fromworking and being on the computer, but after a few weeks of that, I realized blogging and staying creative is what kept me to happy.  I was able to identify why I was feeling down, and the more I wrote and jot down my ideas the better I felt.

Everyone should work on themselves spiritually, physically, emotionally, and mentally. When we work hard and are presented with minor to no results, that can afflict our mental minds. It can cause frustration, discouragement, and self-doubt. This is a normal feeling, but what we do with this feeling is key. Over the years I’ve learned who to surround myself with in order to conquer my dreams. If you are not around the right people your dreams can be shattered or diminished so be careful in the company you keep!

Be True to Yourself and Grow Mentally

One time, I had a great idea and was excited to share it with an individual, only to be shut down by that person. They were doubtful and gave me examples as to why it was not going to happen. It hinders my growth because I valued this person’s opinion. I hesitated in making my idea a reality. I realized that that individual’s personality. They were negative and nothing good came from them. I became careful who I shared my dreams with and things I wanted to do became a reality. Also, we have to pay attention to the advice we are given, there are people who will tell you what you CAN and CANNOT do, yet their life does not match with their suggestions. These are the kind of people you take with a grain of salt if you cannot avoid them. Some people will not want you to live YOUR BEST LIFE because they are not!

Your mental mind goes hand in hand with what you are feeding yourself. If you are encountering “junk food” (negative people I call them) then your life has the ability to be the result of that. Give your mind the nutrition that it needs the “healthy food” (positive people) who are doing something with themselves. People who are successful and confident do not mind sharing how they got where they are. They become excited and honored that you came to them for advice. They can introduce you to people and show you things, before you know it you will be living out your goals and helping others in the process.

Community Convo: Can you identify the healthy food that is in your life? What were some of the things you had to do in order to get rid of the junk food and how has that changed your life?

-Jamie

We Have to Stop

The holiday season is when families come together and spend time with loved ones. We wait all year to sip on eggnog, listen to stories, and make memories while eating comfort food. It’s vital we spend time with family and friends because that’s what makes us keep going. Spending time with family is one of the best things I love about the holidays. I am fortunate to not only have my own family but a great extended family to laugh, joke, and cherish moments with.  However, there are some people who are not as fortunate. Those who are homeless or happen to be in a situation where they are nowhere near loved ones, can be rough during the holidays. 

Be sure to be there for someone in need. Of course we can contribute to those financially, supply toys to the less fortunate, and food to the homeless. But some people need someone to talk to, someone to listen to them. 

We have to be responsible and accountable when it comes to our mood. No one is in control of our feelings but ourselves. Pay attention to what you have been doing in the past few days. Have you been focusing on self-care? If not, then you will be surprise with some of things you can do that can make you feel better.  

Get some fresh air/ there is nothing wrong with stepping out of the house and embracing what God has given us. Having the ability to go outside for a brisk walk, or watching the birds or listening to the cool air is a blessing. If you have time to go for a walk at work step outdoors during your lunch break. It can make the workday go faster and make you feel good about yourself. Take advantage and watch how your mood can change. 

Have gratitude / know that your situation can be worse. If you have something to be thankful for, take a moment to think about that and reflect on how far you have come in life. 

Journal or Write a Letter/ write down how you feel, if you are up to it, write why you feel this way. Seeing your thoughts on paper can help you come up with ways for improvement. Getting your emotions out is forcing that negative energy out of your body. You will feel good. If you are struggling with a relationship between someone, write a letter. You don’t have to necessarily send it to them but jot your thoughts down. In due time you may be wiling to share, or better yet call that person on the phone and tell them how you feel. 

Reach out to someone / writing helps a lot. But having a friend that you trust and can talk to is icing on the cake. If your situation requires professional help, seek a counselor. You can contact your insurance company or speak to your manager about the Employee Assistance Program (E.A.P) they can help you find a therapist and some of the sessions can be free!

Start now / I have a habit of putting things off. I know I do! Putting things off is not good for anyone. It gets piled up in the back of our brain and then we forget until it’s too late.  If something is on your heart, do it now. If writing your feelings down on paper or calling a friend will improve your mood…why wait? 

Broken relationships also plays a factor in our mood. We think about people throughout the year, but there is something about the holidays where people are on our hearts. It’s the season of giving so anyone we think of we reminisce on memories and interactions whether they are good or bad.

Arguments start because of miscommunication

Arguments happen sometimes more than others but that does not mean you have to act as if that person does not exist. Be the bigger person and speak to that relative or call that friend you grew distant with. One conversation can change an outcome in someone’s life. There may be something you did to hurt that person. It could have been unintentional and that is something you two can talk about. A lot of arguments are from miscommunication and once two mature people talk it out, the problem is solved. Now if it is something rooted deep, this would be the opportunity to speak to a heath care professional. However, the initial conversation should start with you. 

The first emotion we experience is LOVE. It is a natural feeling but when hate becomes involved it can get nasty and sooner than later love is nowhere to be found. It’s as if it never existed. In the season of giving, allow yourself to be vulnerable and rekindle the relationships that was tarnished over the years. It’s adequate to have that initial conversation first to avoid any confusion or future fall outs. Discussing issues with the person in a mature manner will show your level of growth which leads to respect and possible healing to the relationship. 

We attend to have altercations and arguments with people and make up but never talk about the situation. We don’t bring it up, but when another situation occurs, (most of the times they do) anger arises. The relationship breaks again and it’s worse off compared to what it was before. We must remind ourselves that God is LOVE and that’s what HE wants for us to do…love one another. 

So whether you are out there shopping and someone comes across your mind. Be sure to let them know you were on their hearts. If you are having trouble talking to someone that you have issues with, talk to a mutual friend you can trust. Let’s end this year off by changing our broken relationships which will allow us to feel better about ourselves and each other. 

What struggles are you dealing with this holiday season? What are you looking to change about your self next year? 

How Story Telling Can Help Someone

Over the last couple of weeks, I listened to podcast for motivation. I have been feeling down previously and I had to get myself out of a funk. It’s easy to allow negative thoughts to hover your drive and take over your motivation so I knew I had to do something to get out of the funk. I heard if you listen to documentaries it can help with encouragement. There is some truth to that statement. I listened to a few podcasts and it gave me insight and I found a little pep in my step once the podcast was over. Lately, I have been listening to Oprah’s Master Class. The podcast reminds me of her Super Soul Sunday Conversations. Have you ever watched that show on TV? It’s mind-blowing and whatever episode you watch you will take something away from it. Trust me.

If Oprah is talking to you, let me tell you something, you’ve made it. I decided if I was going to pursue my goals, I had to listen to other people’s journey. I listened to Alicia Keys, Lynn Whitfield, John Legend, and Jay Z just to name a few. The moment they started talking I was engaged and ready to sponge up their objectives in life.

They may be superstars in the public eye, but they are human. They failed at things and struggled which made them stronger. They one thing they did not do was give up and that shows in their success. Every time I finished listening to a podcast I feel good. I feel as if I could pursue my goals and dreams and that I too will be interviewed by someone…maybe Oprah will talk to me, who knows it’s not impossible.

When we share our true self we become vulnerable. We expose ourselves to people we may not ever meet on this planet, but our stories will move people. Our stories will touch more lives then we can ever imagine. Think about the story of Martin Luther King Jr., Maya Angelou, Madam C J Walker, or Rosa Parks, their story continues to live on today. Now that’s pretty impressive!

Can you imagine how people will change when they hear your story? You do not have to be a famous singer, entertainer, or a public figure. As a matter of fact, you can inspire someone that knows you personally. When people hear how someone got out of a struggle it gives them hope. The message becomes rewarding and it allows people to feel that they too can make it in life. 

There are a lot of people who are waiting to hear your story. Despite what you have going on in life. You can be struggling with life economically, physically or mentally. There are people that NEED to hear your STORY.

Speaking of mental health, it’s a sensitive subject to talk about. Some families do not like to discuss behavioral issues or they have a hard time believing their loved one can’t shake depression or fighting with bipolar. Mental health is healthcare, and as it is stated all over this website, it is time to end the stigma. Something as important as someone telling their story will allow you to know you are not the only one that is struggling. That’s what I appreciate so much about Oprah’s Master Class. Even the great of greats have a moment where they think they are not going to make it, or that they can’t reach another height in their journey. If these people can do it, so can you.

That is what I took from the podcast and I look forward to listening to more during my commute to and from work.

So go ahead and listen to the podcast, check it out and let me know what you think. I am curious to hear your response. And just know someone out there will need to hear your story one day, and if so what will you say?

Who is What?

Mental health has been around for over a century and it's time we give it the respect it deserves. People who are diagnosed are not freaks and do not have something "wrong" with them. Let me just put that out there. They are not considered "crazy" and it takes everyone to know that. I want to make that a point because the stigma is what stops people from getting the help they need. People who experience a mental health issue are dealing with life just like you and me. It's vital to help those who are dealing with depression, anxiety, bipolar, schizophrenia, and any other diagnosis that is in the DSM. 

I may be one person but I will take the necessary steps to help those who are struggling with their mental health.

I currently work at a call center and when I talk to people on the phone they are not certain who does what. This is a list of mental health professionals that informs you on who does what. The education is imperative and you will thank me later. You can smile now.

Therapist- is a master's level clinician who can provide therapy to an individual or in a group setting. They help people with issues and talk to individuals who are dealing with life stressors. These providers have an LCSW-C or LCPC

Psychologist-person who studies the human mind. They complete treatment plans and can diagnose individuals. This person has a doctorate degree in psychology and they can also teach in a school setting. 

PsyD- is a clinical psychologist who provides counseling. They can go into private practice and counsel those who are dealing with mental health issues.

Psychiatrist-is a medical level clinician who prescribe medication for those who have a mental health diagnosis. They also diagnosis individuals and also help with the treatment of the brain. The difference between a psychiatrist and psychologist is that a psychiatrist can prescribe medication, a psychologist cannot. 

Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner - this is fairly new in mental health. These clinicians are skilled nurses who are trained in mental health and provide mental health services to individuals and families. They are typically under the supervision of a psychiatrist. Because they are new compared to a psychiatrist they have more availability when it comes to scheduling an appointment. 

WHO CAN SEEK TREATMENT

Mental health is open to anyone who wants it. Some people may feel the urge to talk to someone and the first step they can do is contact their insurance company. They can also go to Psychology Today and find a list of resources. Psychology Today have providers with their picture and some have their website information. You go on the website and type your city or zip code and the list of providers will appear. Some have a list of specialties they work with and if they do group therapy in addition to individual therapy. 

You can also contact your insurance company to see what providers are in your network and the benefits you have on your plan. Click here to see other who is in-network with your insurance company as well as a list of resources.

Suicide Is Real

Today I spoke to a woman who lost her parent to suicide. The conversation was brief but I could not help but feel my emotions wanting to burst. I wanted to cry for her because someone in her life decide to take their own life. I wanted to continue to cry because that person believed there was no one there that could help her and she decided to end her life. Sadly, this is not something that’s unusual. Suicide is real and there are more people that think about doing the act than you think. We have to become a society where we notice acts like this and what we should do.

Contemplating suicide is not an easy decision. People don’t wake up wanting to harm themselves out of nowhere. It’s not a pleasant feeling and it typically follows by a series of current events. There’s a lot of going back and forth when someone wants to take their own life. Those that are successful leave behind family and friends that soon blame themselves for not listening or paying attention to the signs. Despite how a suicidal person feels, no one should feel that they have to take their life away to get attention. 

And who’s to say that person wanted the attention? However something went wrong. Picking up pills or purchasing a weapon that leads to death is a serious matter. It takes a lot of thought to think suicide through. It’s rare to know what that last person’s thoughts were because some people that commit suicide are by themselves, but we do know they were at their wits end at that point. 

Every September is Suicide Awareness Month, if you see any signs of someone feeling bad or not themselves, it’s imperative that we display acts of kindness. If someone is feeling lonely we can talk to them on the phone, take them out for a walk, or a simple gesture of coffee. Having someone listen to issues (not necessarily solving them) allows people to know they can be heard. That their voice matters and they are not wrong for feeling the way they do. It’s harmless to be kind and in the world we live in today, besides there is too much cruelty we face on a day to day. 

Think about those who committed suicide, famous people like Robert Williams and Kate Spade, there are a list of people but to society it seems like these celebs are living their best lives. What could possibly go wrong with someone who is successful right? 

Mental health can happen to anyone, NO ONE is exempt to experiencing any kind of mental health issues. One problem (like loneliness) can lead to another problem which can be a ripple effect causing people to feel overwhelmed and if the issue is not receiving any attention it can lead to something worse. Most likely, it will lead to something worse. Therefore, it’s important to know signs and take someone literally if they proclaim they are dealing with suicidal thoughts. 

What are some signs?

First and foremost it’s important to know suicide does not need a cause. However, if you notice mood changes, agitation, recklessness, or someone talking about feeling hopeless or helpless, just know it’s vital to offer help to that individual. Be that shoulder they can depend on and ear for them to vent. Let them know they are valuable and that you are there if they need you. People need to hear that someone cares about them. You don’t have to be suicidal and knowing someone cares for you can make you feel better about yourself. We all can attest to that. 

Check up on the person from time to time. Give them a call and ask them how their day was. It doesn’t have to be anything in debt, just let them know you were thinking about them. When someone express themselves verbally they are getting out any thoughts and issues that are built up inside of them. Many times when people talk they are not looking for answers. I often provide resources only if they ask, and I try my best to not make the conversation about myself and give advice only when asked to. It’s quite easy to go off on a tangent and forget the reason for the initial call, but listening and learning how to be an effective listener can take the edge off of someone’s bad day. 

If someone you know is going through a hard time and you don’t know what to do, talk to them about seeing a health care professional. You can even look up some resources and help them find a provider in the area. You can look up their reviews online and check what kind of insurance they take. Also inquire about the employee assistance program (EAP) they provide free services and the sessions depend on the company, however help can be obtained. 

We want to decrease suicide attempts and being an ear to vent to goes a long way. If you or you know someone that is contemplating suicide please call the suicide prevention hotline for help at 1800-273-8255. That one phone call can save someone’s life. 

Why I Decided to See a Therapist after Pregnancy

There’s a lot of joyful moments during pregnancy along with advice, criticism, and things people tell you they did while they were pregnant. I must say my pregnancy journey was not a harsh one. I did not experience morning sickness, I was able to exercise whenever I didn’t feel lazy, and I worked up until five days prior to my due date. I felt good for the most part. I had good reports from the OBGY-N and my primary doctor. Our baby shower was a success and we have yet bought a pack of wipes or a case of diapers thus far. Our son latched on immediately and I gain more breast milk to put in the freezer. Things were looking good and I felt ready to take on the journey that was ahead of me. But after a few weeks of our son’s birth, I knew I had to see a therapist. My mental state depended on it.

People told me to say goodbye to sleep but I wasn’t sure how much sleep I was going to lose. During the hospital stay, I was spoiled by the nurses, they checked up on me every hour and helped me whenever I needed rest. I healed up better than I expected and I was walking around the hospital whenever I felt the need to stretch my legs. I was ready to go home, more than ever and the car ride home was not as bad as I was told.

Our first night home was eventful, we were up all night and our wonderful Yorki thought it was a good idea to poop in the baby’s room. Our son was screaming his head off and we all were adjusting to a new life in our home. My husband stepped on the poop in route to changing our son’s diaper. I had to take control and tell him we were going to be okay, let’s take care of the baby and poop and make our way back to bed. That first night turned into many sleepless nights. I woke up delusional wondering if having a child was really in the books for me. I wanted some rest of any kind and a small part of me wanted my old life back. I was later informed that those feelings were normal and that it will get better soon but I wasn’t sure when soon was going to come. 

7 Strategies to Face Life’s Challenges By Jennifer Kunst Ph.D

People were respectful and gave me space. We were not overwhelmed with visitor and a part of me enjoyed that. Another part of me felt alone and was wondering why people weren’t rushing to our house to see the new baby. My hormones were out of wack and after my husband’s short week of vacation I was home alone with a baby and I didn’t know a thing about parenthood. Sure there’s a lot of reading material and a boatload of advice from people that call themselves experts but this was my baby, a new human being that called the shots, a person with his own objective and it took trial and error to figure out what the heck was going on whenever he started crying.

At this point, I didn’t realize how important family involvement was. It wasn’t easy for anyone in my family to come by and stay a week or even a weekend to spend with us. They all lived hours away and in between work schedules and already scheduled vacations, many people told me they would try to make it to Maryland and I only could depend on their word. Days turned into weeks and my loneliness turned into anger. I had the support of people that loved me dearly but it’s different when it’s not coming from your own bloodline.

I tell people all the time I married into the best family God put on Earth. I  But there is something soothing to my aunt holding our child, or my grandma giving our son some wisdom. It’s a great feeling to hear compliments from my family and friends.  There’s something about family that makes life special, it’s an unexplainable feeling and I can’t put my finger on it, but I am sure you can relate.

My anger became worse each day. My thoughts were negative and when someone tried to help, I looked at them as if they were getting in the way. I was overwhelmed and felt like I didn’t have control over my mental state. I had to schedule an appointment to get these feelings out of me, and I knew I had a lot to express.

We all want acceptance from somebody at some point in our life…

Expressing my anger and hearing someone validate my thoughts were welcoming. We all want to hear someone say, “you did a great job,” or “you are doing it the right way.” I later questioned myself what is the right way? Why are we so subjective to being accepted to what other people think. They are living life just as we are, who are they to condone what I do with my life?

I wanted acceptance from people who were struggling with life themselves.  But when I didn’t get that confirmation, I felt neglected and abandoned. Yet therapy helped me realize their acceptance is not the all in be all. I have a life that I need to live and I cannot wait for someone to say “good job” or be in my presence to make me feel good. I have the right to be angry and the authority to express my feelings and move on with life.

Therapy made me realize I had to channel my thoughts. I acknowledge my fears and now I am moving forward. I faced the challenge of expressing myself to someone who I felt I couldn’t express myself to. I listened to the explanation and decided on what I wanted to do with it. I later realized we all have choices in life, we can soak in sorrow or face our fears and move on. I’m deciding to go with the second option.

At first, I thought I was going through postpartum depression and a part of me thinks that I was. None the less the important thing I did for myself and my family was to talk to someone professionally. The good thing is I know there is nothing wrong with seeking help. I personally think everyone needs a therapist in their contact list. However, there are some people who feel they can handle things on their own despite what good can come out seeing a  professional.

We Have Feelings for a Reason

During therapy, I was able to be myself and talk about the things that made me upset without being judged. I was able to get some pointers about facing my fears and I was understood by someone who walked in my shoes long before I became pregnant.

NOBODY has it all together. We all are figuring out life just like the next person, and just because someone needs an extra boost does not make them less of a human being. Having a baby is tough when emotions and unmet expectations are involved, but that does not mean we have to stop living. It took for me to talk to my therapist to appreciate the people who are in my life and those who show that they care. I’ve learned to not yearn for those who decide to keep their distance and embrace the people who stand in my corner. People come into your life and others go astray and that’s okay. I’ve learned I am not responsible for other people’s feelings and that was a HUGE hurdle I had to face.

But it’s done and now it’s something I can talk about.